(Verse 1 – River) I got your beacon wrapped in web, Feathers tangled, half past dead, The jungle squawks in ancient tongue, And darling, I brought the bigger gun.

(Verse 2 – Doctor) You said you hated chickens, dear, Then kissed me mid-atmosphere. These ones spin time like dinner plates, And frankly, I resent their beady fates.

(Verse 3 – River) Don't blink, they’ve got eight legs and pride, With wings that snap and eyes that glide. I sliced one open—clockwork guts, I think your ex built these mutant clucks.

(Verse 4 – Doctor) Oh that ex? She’s lovely, cruel, Her science fair was space-time fuel. But these silk-winged cluckers sail through years, Whispering secrets in engineer’s ears.

(Verse 5 – River) I caught a Matron mid-warp sneeze, She clucked in Artron energy. I kissed her beak then kicked her thorax— She tried to flirt. I told her, "Relax."

(Verse 6 – Doctor) You flirt with death like it’s dessert, Wield sarcasm like it’s covert. But here they come—by flock and fate— Time-chickens dancing through the gate.

(Verse 7 – River) The coop is cracked, their minds unhinged, The egg-lords roar with feathered cringe. But look—I’ve hacked the nest's AI, It thinks I’m mother. Isn’t that sly?

(Verse 8 – Doctor) You reprogrammed evolution’s joke? I swear, you make my time-stream choke. But fine—let’s ride this panic wave, I’ll set the sonic, you misbehave.

(Verse 9 – River) I’ll misbehave if you set the pace, While gravity weeps upon your face. We’re out of sync but in the flow— My love, this is our kind of show.

(Verse 10 – Doctor) Then cue the strings and screaming flutes, We'll tango with these feathered brutes. Reality bends beneath your heels, So stomp it hard—make time squeal.

(Verse 11 – River) Kiss me later, duck the claw, They aim for hearts with tooth and awe. I’m drenched in web, I’m drunk on flight, Now hold me, Doc, and burn the night.

(Verse 12 – Doctor & River) We tore the sky in feathered swirls, Two mad gods in love with curls. Let Gall

1. River (growling):

“Chan eil iad a’ gabhail bhuainn!

(They won’t take us!)” she cries, flames in her gaze,

Feathers scatter—her fury sets the barn ablaze,

"Hands off what's ours—this is our maze!"

2. Doctor (dodging a beak):

“River, love, keep it together—fear not that hen!”

He blocks a talon, jaw clenched, then grins: “Again!”

She hisses in Gaelic—he swears he’s in love with her fan.

3. River (boots stomping):

“Èist! A dhòighean lùth-chleasachd neònach!”

Listen! Strange athletic moves!

She arches a wing, “I see you trying to steal our grooves!”

4. Doctor (ripping a board):

“I built this barn to hold us, not this fowl’s farce!”

Boards fly—“Keep your claws off our parse!”

River laughs, curls aflame—the heat, her only farce.

5. River (smirking):

“Làrach-laghaidh, Doctor—call it trial by flame!”

Courthouse in dust, barn the stage; no one to blame

She holds court in soot—“They’ll pay toll to our name!”

6. Doctor (raising eyebrow):

“Nisi prius? What’s that in court?”

River spins dust—“It’s the judge’s report:

‘Fowltenna incitement’ with an obscene escort.”

7. River (leaning in):

“Fuil is-basgaid—blood and basket, sweet evidence in hand!”

She tosses eggshells like verdicts—spilled eggs on sand,

“Your honor,” she winks, “we demand justice by grand!”

8. Doctor (draped in yolk):

“My cunning defense includes these broken shells,”

They sparkle like courtroom pearls—River rebels,

“Spin that, Time Lord—this barnourt excels.”

9. River (whispering fierce):

“Tha iad a’ glacadh ar n-uaigh—They’re stealing our grave!”

Feathers drop in slow fall—each one they crave,

She storms forward—“Doc, we’ll not the meek behave.”

10. Doctor (uneasy grin):

“Evidence mayhem, but our love holds firm, dear.”

He shields her as talons whirr near—no fear,

“In this trial of flame, we’re the jury—let them hear!”

11. River (raising her arm):

“Damages: stolen feathers, broken nests, scorched earth,

Under Gaelic law, we demand rebirth!

This barn’s our realm, give it a new birth.”

12. Doctor (hopeful):

“Sentence: exile the Fowltenna beyond time’s gate,

Terminate their flight, leave no rogue crate.”

River smirks, “Appeal? We’ll love that fate.”