All I dream about anymore is what could have been

If I had just had the courage to just go

And not give myself to a life I didn't ask for

The regret surrounds me like water

And it's suffocating me

And it's drowning me

One day I will be free

For every good thing I have done

There are three more bad things that have been done to me

And I just don't want to remember anymore

I want it to be like it was before

I should have never opened that door

How was I to know what was waiting on the other side

There are no pills to take away this pain

No blade could ever cut it away

I am drifting through this life

Hopelessly, pointlessly

Waiting for the end

Waiting for the end

And I know I sound cruel

And I know I sound heartless

And I know I should be grateful to even be alive

But are you really alive when your life isn't even yours

When every minute of every day

Something always gets in the way

Of you ever having a chance

To try and find yourself again

And the years fly by faster and faster

And the end is closer than the start

And I just don't know how I can ever be

Anything more than I have been

Anything more than I have been

The regret surrounds me like water

And it's suffocating me

And it's drowning me

One day I will be free