Just thought it was a book club

Free snacks and a welcome sign

They handed me a black robe

Said

"You’ll fit in fine"

Candles in the basement

Everyone knows all the chants

I only came for cookies

Now look where I’m at

I accidentally joined a satanic cult

I just wanted friends

Is that my fault?

They’re drawing circles

I’m checking my pulse

How did trivia night turn into this result?

I accidentally joined a satanic cult

(oh no, oh no)

Do I play along or call for help?

They asked about my blood type

Said it’s “great, yeah, that just right.”

They passed around goat masks

Booked me for “next Tuesday at midnight.”

Some guy named Damien

Keeps calling me “the chosen one.”

I still don’t know the wifi

But I know their favorite demon

I accidentally joined a satanic cult

I just wanted vibes

Is that my fault?

They’re burning something

I’m losing my chill

Is this a potluck or a sacrifice grill?

I accidentally joined a satanic cult

(hey, wait, what?)

Do I play along or call for help?

I just wanted plans on a Saturday night

Not a lifetime pact and ceremonial knife

They said “Sign here

” I thought it was a guest list

Now I’m Googling “how to leave a dark priestess” (oh man)

I accidentally joined a satanic cult

I just needed friends

Is that my fault?

They’re raising spirits

I’m raising my hands

“Is there a feedback form

Can I change my plans?”

I accidentally joined a satanic cult

(so done, so done)

Next time I’m staying home with my cat

And That's that.