Walnut Creek, eighty-five

White stars on my feet

No sidewalks in the sprawl

Just blacktop and heat

I walked the edge where the lawn meets the road

Soles going thin on the same old load

School sat quiet like a secret town

Upper field wide, no fences around

A stage out back with splinters and shade

We learned our lines and we played what we played

Grown folks busy with their bigger plans

Kind hands still, from the teacher bands

Pipe smoke ghosting on a morning breeze

Mustache like thunder, stern as he pleased

I kept my mouth shut, I kept my pace

Trying to look smart on my own kid face

I wasn't lazy, I was lost

Report card open, chalk dust tossed

Letters sliding, numbers crossed

I wasn't lazy, I was lost

“Incomplete” like a stamp on my name

Like I chose the dark, like I loved the shame

I watched the page while the page watched me

Spelling like static on a dead TV

Ear pinch warning, eyes front, sit still

But my thoughts ran wild down their own hill

One-horn goat on the rocky grade

Stared down calm while my skin got scraped

Then I walked back home where the antenna sings

Racing the clock and the after-school things

Tube set warm, then I killed the light

Still she’d know by the heat at night

I wasn't lazy, I was lost

Report card open, chalk dust tossed

Letters sliding, numbers crossed

I wasn't lazy, I was lost

Now I chase answers till my wrists all ache

Finish the thing like my life’s at stake

Proving to ghosts in a classroom chair

That I was trying, I was always there

Oakland nights and a second wind

Still see that word when the doubts kick in

If I miss a letter, I breathe and re-read

I learned my rhythm from the road and need

I wasn't lazy, I was lost

Report card open, chalk dust tossed

Letters sliding, numbers crossed

I wasn't lazy, I was lost

White All-Stars, worn-out soles

Road-edge kid with a head full of holes

Chalk on my fingers, dust in my throat

Trying to read what they never wrote

Say it again till the hurt is soft

I wasn't lazy, I was lost