I’m not crying, I’m just testing The structural integrity of my eyelids
Lo-fi emo rock, soft vulnerable vocal (male or female), Midwest emo influence, clean electric guitar with reverb and delay, slow tempo ~70–80 BPM, minimal drums, ambient room noise, melancholic and introspective mood, gradual emotional build, intimate bedroom recording feel, slightly grainy texture, soft-to-loud dynamic chorus
I’m not crying, I’m just testing The structural integrity of my eyelids
Lo-fi emo rock, soft vulnerable vocal (male or female), Midwest emo influence, clean electric guitar with reverb and delay, slow tempo ~70–80 BPM, minimal drums, ambient room noise, melancholic and introspective mood, gradual emotional build, intimate bedroom recording feel, slightly grainy texture, soft-to-loud dynamic chorus
Lyrics
I stayed up counting cracks in the ceiling again
Every line looks like a place I’ve been
Coffee went cold in my shaking hands
Another night I don’t understand
Text I wrote but I never sent
Feels like talking to a brick wall in my head
Static noise where your voice should be
Just echoes keeping time with me
I tell myself I’m fine, I swear
But my reflection’s startin’ to stare…
I’m not crying, I’m just testing
The structural integrity of my eyelids
If they break, then I guess I’m confessing
All the things I tried to keep hid
Yeah I laugh like it’s nothing at all
But the silence hits harder at night
If I’m bending, I’m close to fallin’
Holding tears like they’re built to fight
Late night glow from a dying screen
Painting shadows where you used to be
Every song hits a little too close
Like it knows what I hate the most
I wear jokes like a bandage now
Cover up what I won’t allow
If I say it out loud, it’s real
So I bury it deeper than I can feel
Yeah I’m stitched up, barely there
But I’m cracking unaware…
I’m not crying, I’m just testing
The structural integrity of my eyelids
If they break, then I guess I’m confessing
All the things I tried to keep hid
Yeah I smile like I’m holding it down
But I’m slipping out of the light
If I shatter, don’t make a sound
I’ve been breaking for a while inside
If I let it fall…
Would it wash me clean?
Or just prove that I’m
Not as strong as I seem…
I’m not crying, I’m just testing
How much pressure I can hold inside
Every blink feels like I’m confessing
Every truth that I’ve tried to hide
If they break, let it all spill out
I’m so tired of the fight
I’m not crying… just finding out
What it takes… to finally feel alright
Just testing…
Just testing…
(…but they’re giving way tonight)