떠난 사람보다, 남아 있는 향이 먼저 숨을 막히게 하는 곡.

-2

A song about how the lingering scent hurts before the loss does.

-2

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원래 이랬지

하하하...

원하던 데로 됐잖아

“늘, 이래 왔던거야...”

...

...

어제도, 봤던 저...집 강아지,

오늘도, 누워만 있네.

엊그제,도 스쳤던 이 꽃은

오늘도, 잘 피어나 있네.

늘, 같은 하루 하루.

오늘도, 마찬가지, 하루, 똑같아.

길가의, 흙 냄새.

바뀌어가는, 주변의 냄새.

지나가는, 향기들.

매번 다르게 느껴지는데,

왜, 너의 곁은 같은 향기만,

느껴지는 걸까.

늘 같이, 항상 지나던 거리,

늘 같이, 함께 지났지.

그런데, 그랬을 터 인데,

왜 일까, 아... 왜 일까, 왜 일까.

숨이 막혀,

지나던 길을 그냥 지났고,

다니던 장소에 그냥 들렀고,

스치던, 자리를 그냥 보고,

지나치던, 꽃의, 향을 맡은 것 뿐인데,

왜 이렇게 숨이 막힐까.

아파...

아픈가...아픈지 모르겠어,

슬퍼...

슬픈거...같은데, 슬픈지 몰라

늘...

하고 있었는데...

달라진 것이라고는

“너가 없다는 것.”

그거 하나 뿐인데,

왜 이렇게 막힐까.

눈물, 안나와.

소리, 안나와.

난, 늘, 똑같은데,

난, 늘, 같았는데,

왜... 왜.... 이럴까.

독에 당해, 무뎌지는 건가.

독을 먹어, 망가지는 걸까.

난, 늘, 똑같은데,

난, 늘, 같았는데,

왜... 왜.... 이럴까.

------

넌, 늘, 달랐었어.

넌, 항상, 달랐어.

-----

넌...

이 자리에 있었구나.

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It was always like this.

Haha…

It turned out the way I wanted, didn’t it.

“It’s always been this way…”

…

…

That house dog I saw yesterday,

today, it’s still lying there.

The flower I brushed past the other day,

today, it’s still blooming just fine.

Every day, the same kind of day.

Today again, the same—

nothing different.

The smell of soil along the road.

The changing scents around me.

Passing fragrances.

They feel different every time,

so why is it that beside you,

only the same scent remains?

The street we always walked down,

we always passed through it together.

And yet…

if that was the case,

why is it—

ah… why is it, why is it?

I can’t breathe.

I just passed the road I used to take,

just stopped by the places I used to go,

just looked at the spots I used to pass,

just caught the scent of flowers I always ignored—

so why does it feel like I’m suffocating?

It hurts…

or maybe it does—

I don’t know if it hurts.

I’m sad…

it feels like sadness,

but I don’t know if it really is.

I’ve always been doing this,

so the only thing that changed is—

“You’re not here.”

Just that one thing,

so why does everything feel so blocked?

No tears come.

No sound comes out.

I’m still the same.

I’ve always been the same.

So why… why is this happening?

Am I growing numb from the poison?

Or am I breaking down from swallowing it?

I’m still the same.

I’ve always been the same.

So why… why is this happening?

You were always different.

You were always changing.

You…

were here,

in this place.