(Verse 1)

Why do I ache just to be noticed?

Hang on every word like it could save me

I wanna be wanted without the performance

Without pulling teeth just to hear you say my name

I’m tired of shrinking in crowded rooms

Trying to glow while I’m coming unglued

Everybody says “you’re enough”

But enough never feels true

(Pre-Chorus)

And I hate that I care this much

Hate how silence cuts me up

Like I’m standing in the background

Waiting to become someone

(Chorus)

I wanna feel special on the days I drown

When my lungs give out and my head spins round

Why’s it hurt this bad to always come second?

Always looking up while I’m breaking my neck in

Never the first call

Never the first name

Always braced for impact

Always taking aim

At a heart that keeps begging to be loved out loud

I just wanna feel enough right now

(Verse 2)

Every mirror turns into a courtroom

Every text left dry feels like proof

That I’m too much, then not enough

All at the same time for you

I learned how to laugh while unraveling

Smile pretty while panic settles in

Everybody leaves eventually

So I leave first in my head again

(Bridge)

Maybe I’m addicted to the almost

To half-love and ghost notes

To wondering if I’d finally matter

If I disappeared slow

(Final Chorus)

I wanna feel special on the days I fade

Not just when I’m easy, not just when I’m okay

Why’s it hurt this bad to never be chosen?

To scream inside rooms where my mouth stays frozen

Still on my back

Still ready for war

Still letting people

Break what’s already torn

And my heart keeps asking what it’s bleeding for

When all I wanted was to matter more