I lied to my friends, said I’m sleeping again

But the truth is, I shake ‘til the morning

You broke me down so slow, I didn’t even know

That love could look like mourning

Your hands never hit me, but your words always did

You called me crazy ‘til I started to believe it

I looked in the mirror and saw your hate

Living in my skin like it paid the rent

---

No one saw the damage in my laugh

But the bruises bloom where no one asks

So I open the bottle like it’s my last friend

And hope tonight just quietly ends

---

I take little white lies

Just to feel a little more alive

They're not love, but they’re not you

And that’s the best I can do

I dance with ghosts inside my chest

Wearing your voice like a second skin

If pain was love, then you were mine

Now I swallow to survive

---

You said I was “too much” when I started to cry

Now I apologize for being alive

I begged you to see me — you stared through me

And now I do the same with everything I need

I tried to quit, I really did

But silence is louder when you're a kid

Still loving a monster, still tracing the bruise

Still mistaking all the damage for proof

---

No one asks where I’ve been

I’m good at hiding the medicine

But every capsule says your name

Every high’s just part of the blame

---

I take little white lies

Just to feel a little more alive

They're not love, but they’re not you

And that’s the best I can do

I dance with ghosts inside my chest

Wearing your voice like a second skin

If pain was love, then you were mine

Now I swallow to survive

---

I don't want to feel this way forever

But forever still feels safer than remembering you

They tell me to heal — I wish I could

But healing means facing you and I’m not that good

---

I take little white lies

Down like prayers on a sleepless night

Not for fun, not for thrill

Just to make the quiet stand still

I dance with ghosts I didn’t invite

Call your name, but it never feels right

If this is what you left behind

Then I swallow just to survive