Why do i sit and reminisce

on things i miss

short sighted bliss

still i insist

something's amiss

i choose things they make no sense

so i commence in my own self i must convince

its not pretense

i live like this

i fucking dug the pits

i'm down in them throwing fits

i think i've become lost in my mind

i spiral down the drain convince myself i'm just fine

i don't believe me though cause clearly i am lyin

shouldnt of done all the drugs in the past now im way behind

when i started it numbed the pain caused by the world we occupate

it didnt take long before that feeling began to vanish it started to fade

and what took its place was anger misery and hate

i never spent time gaining accolades

now older me is paying for all the past mistakes

so i dont think i'll ever amount to much these days

you would think i'd learn but i live in a haze

shape of a fuck up i effortlessly slot in that space

the bottom of the barrel is where you find i stay

i dont see myself with any different fate

i'm too real for a system that makes people who are fake

ohh lord will i ever

sit and get my life together

or keep getting blown down like i'm made of feathers

does this get any better

Christmas pictures in bad sweaters

family outings, get togethers

i would trade anything for those endeavors

instead i sit alone trying to decode the perfect sequence of these letters

so i can reach these kids help them make decisions better

so they dont go through life with regrets that will last forever

fading sparks

what's my arc

am i the fish or the shark

hard to know when nobody's around to remark

alone in the driveway spent two hours with the car in park

cause time is meaningless when you share all your time with the dark

i spent way too much time missing the mark

i look at my peers the difference is stark

its clear that its different paths we chose to embark

i never fit in with others always felt broken i came into the world already taken apart

i just want a new start

Why do i sit and reminisce

on things i miss

short sighted bliss

still i insist

something's amiss

i choose things they make no sense

so i commence in my own self i must convince

its not pretence

i live like this

i fucking dug the pits

im down in them throwing fits

Why do i sit and reminisce

on things i miss

short sighted bliss

still i insist

something's amiss

i choose things they make no sense

its not pretense

i live like this

i fucking dug the pits

im down in them throwing fits