비어 있던 상자에, 오늘도 나를 조금 담습니다.

Today, I put a little of myself into an empty box.

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분명 담으려고 접었지

주변의 뜻대로 만들어져

상자의 모양을 갖췄어

이제 담기만 하면 되는데...

뭘 담아야 할지 모르겠어

주변에서 하란대로, 공부 했고

주변에서 하란대로, 움직였지

그 덕에, 겉모습만 만든걸까?

그 속의, 내용물은 내껄까?

겉을 만들고, 던져진 세상

자리를 담을 때마다,

내용물이 바뀌는 듯 했어

생각이 달라지는 것 같았고

성격이 만들어지는 것 같았고

더 많이 담으려

다듬어 가는줄 알았지

주변에서 하란대로, 꿈을 갖고

주변에서 하란대로, 금을 그었지.

그렇게 만들어져,

채워진 줄 알았던 속은

그대로 비어있었고

다듬어졌던건

겉모습 이었어

더욱 단단해지고,

깔끔 해졌지

속이 비었다는걸 안 건

자리를 바꿀때마다

포장지, 모양이, 바뀌었고,

포장지의, 모양이, 되려 움직이다,

“주변에서 ‘너 좀 변했어’

그 말이

처음으로 내 안을 비춰봤던 순간이었어

그제서야 알았지

비어 있던 건 상자만이 아니었다는 것을..

그래서 나는

조금씩, 조금씩이지만

매일, 반복해서

“나”를 담아가고 있어

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I folded myself,

thinking I was meant to hold something.

Shaped by what others wanted,

I took the form of a box.

All that was left

was to put something inside…

But I didn’t know

what I was supposed to carry.

I studied the way they told me to,

moved the way they told me to.

Was that how I only built the outside?

Was what’s inside

ever really mine?

Thrown into the world once the shell was made,

every time my place changed,

it felt like the contents changed too.

My thoughts seemed to shift,

a personality seemed to form.

I thought I was refining myself

to hold more.

I dreamed the way they told me to dream,

drew lines the way they told me to draw.

Yet what I thought was filled

was still empty.

What had been refined

was only the surface.

Stronger,

cleaner.

I realized the emptiness

every time I moved to a new place.

The wrapping changed its shape,

until the wrapping itself

started moving me.

“you’ve changed,” they said—

and that was the first moment

my inside was reflected back at me.

That’s when I understood:

it wasn’t just the box that was empty.

So now I’m slowly, little by little,

every single day,

repeatedly

putting myself inside.