I keep a list of versions of me

I cross them out in pencil

Some days I’m brave in public

Some days I’m just… careful

I tried on “fine” like a borrowed coat

Wore it out to the corner shop

Smiled too wide at the self-checkout

Like I’m not holding the world by a thread and a knot

I scroll past lives like they’re postcard fronts

Sunlit kitchens, soft-eyed plans

And I’m here in a hoodie, hair in a fight

Trying to understand my own hands

If I’m a question, I’m not ashamed

I’m just learning my name again

I don’t need to solve the whole sky tonight

I just need a place to stand

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’m not

I’m not the girl who shrinks for a room

I’m not the silence you forgot

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’m not

And tonight, that’s enough to hold

Yeah tonight, that’s enough to hold

I’ve been the punchline in my own head

Like it’s safer if I laugh first

I’ve said “it’s nothing” with shaking hands

Cos I thought wanting was a kind of curse

I’ve stayed too long in the maybe of things

In the half-light where nobody sees

But there’s a part of me that keeps breathing out

Like “you’re allowed to be real, Lee”

I keep mistaking peace for empty

And love for something I have to earn

But my heart’s not a courtroom anymore

It’s a place where the lights return

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’m not

I’m not the girl who begs for proof

I’m not the person time forgot

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’m not

And tonight, that’s enough to hold

Yeah tonight, that’s enough to hold

Maybe I’m made of little recoveries

Of mornings where I didn’t run

Maybe I’m softer than my old armour

Maybe I’m more than what I’ve done

I’m not a headline, I’m not a label

I’m not a lesson wrapped in shame

I’m a voice in a small bright room

Saying it’s okay… it’s okay

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’ve got

I’ve got the girl who stands back up

I’ve got the fire that won’t stop

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’ve got

I don’t know who I am

But I know who I’ve got

And tonight, that’s more than hope

Yeah tonight, that’s more than hope

I’ll figure it out in real time

I’ll let it change as I go

I don’t know who I am

But I’m here

And I’m letting it show