[Verse 1 - Sung, rapid-fire, breathlessly] [Trumpet melody continues underneath, emphasizing the urgency] I got a gig at Pebble Beach, they said, "Capture the green!" I climbed a fence, slipped on some moss, it was a blurry scene. I dropped my lens cap on the turf, the camera took a fall, It caught the ball mid-air, right by the Greatest Wall of All! A perfect, focused freeze-frame, a shot they called divine, They said it showed the tension on the golfer's face and spine! [Sound effect: Distant cheer of a crowd] I was just trying to retrieve the cap, but now they sing my praise, It's just the luck of clumsiness, in these confusing days!

[Chorus - Sung, extremely fast and panicked] Oh, I'm the manic mega-star, the lens they can't ignore, My accidental brilliance keeps knocking on the door! The Golf Course paid me extra, for the shot that hit the news, My paranoia’s boiling hot, I've got the camera blues! [Rapid-fire camera flash going off repeatedly] I was only trying to escape, from all the sudden fame, But I trip into the spotlight, and they scream my fake-y name! Arty Givens! Arty Givens!—it's driving me insane!

[Verse 2 - Spoken, hushed and secretive, then a sudden shout] [Rhythm section becomes quieter, bass is slightly menacing] (Manic Male Vocalist): Then the Stunt Driver gig! He wanted his "aura" recorded, see? I said, "Your aura? I'm a photographer, that's not for me!" I was setting up the softbox, for a gentle, static light, When he hit the ramp too hard, and I jumped out of sheer fright! [Sound effect: High-speed car passing followed by a skid] My camera spun, it bounced off tires, and I thought, "This is the end!" It caught him mid-air, surrounded by a crimson, fiery trend! They called it "The Moment of Reckoning!" His Soul on Display! [He shouts] "It was a lens flare, folks! Just a horrible, awful spray!"

[Bridge - Sung, passionate but still frantic, trumpet is dominant] [Frantic trumpet melody soars over the rhythm] I tried to hide my portfolio, down in a basement dark, But then the Swimsuit Editor decided to make his mark! The model was a stunning beauty, posing by the waves, I was just standing near her, praying for my saving grace. A sudden loud thunder clap hit, and I shielded my eyes in fear, [Sound effect: Sudden loud thunder clap] My camera, it just fired, and caught the model staring at me clear! She was looking at my pathetic self, with a pity and a frown— And they put that pained expression on every newsstand in the town!

[Chorus - Sung, with full chaotic energy] Oh, I'm the manic mega-star, the lens they can't ignore, My accidental brilliance keeps knocking on the door! The Stunt Driver's "aura" is now a viral rage, I'm famous for the pictures, I took in a clumsy stage! [Rapid-fire camera flash going off repeatedly] I was only trying to escape, from all the sudden fame, But I trip into the spotlight, and they scream my fake-y name! Arty Givens! Arty Givens!—I'm going down the drain!