I keep telling you I’m fine

Like it’s something I can prove

But when the pressure settles in

I come apart in front of you

I talk like I’m built from steel

Like I don’t bend or bruise

Then the night asks one hard question

And I don’t know what to do

I feel it in my chest

When my voice starts giving out

I’m scared you’ll see the truth

I’m scared you already have

I’m afraid I’m too much

When the days start turning rough

I break down in your hands

And I call it being honest

I’m afraid I’ll lose you

To the weight I never drop

I wish I could put myself back

So the sharp parts don’t cut you anymore

There’s a mask I learned to wear

Not to scare you, just to hide the pain

If you saw how thin I am

You might walk the other way

I say I know who I am

I say I’ve got it under control

But I’m taping up the cracks

Just to keep myself whole

I don’t want to be a burden

I don’t want to need you like this

I swear I’m trying to be better

I’m just slower than I said

I’m afraid I’m too much

When the nights get heavy and long

I fall apart too easy

I was never as strong as I talk

I’m afraid I’ll lose you

To the mess I can’t outrun

I wish I could fix myself quietly

So none of it lands on you

I’m not asking you to save me

I know that’s not your job

I just want a little time

To learn how to stay upright

If I could gather every piece

Lay them flat and make them fit

I would dull the edges first

So they don’t hurt you when you’re close to me

I don’t need to be perfect

I just need to be here

I just want to hold you close

And feel like we’re okay again

If you can stand with me a moment

While I learn to breathe this through

I’ll keep working on the parts of me

That make this hard on you