> A: Excuse me miss,

> B: I have a boyfriend.

> A: Yeah, that's great — me too.

> Just to let you know… you have a tampon sticking out the back.

---

**\[Intro – Spoken, Funky Bass Groove]**

(male voice, cheeky tone):

Excuse me, miss…

(female voice, sharp):

I *have* a boyfriend.

(male, unbothered):

Yeah, that's great — me too.

Just... uh...

you got a lil’ string situation...

back there.

---

**\[Verse 1 – Groove kicks in]**

I was walking through the aisle with my headphones in

Saw a vibe, saw some sass, saw a confident queen

Didn’t shoot my shot — I just tapped your sleeve

You turned ‘round like I’d committed a felony

You rolled your eyes, said “I got a man”

Girl, that’s cute — I got a boyfriend and a skincare plan

Not here for flirting, no secret game

Just saving you from public shame

---

**\[Pre-Chorus]**

It ain’t that deep, don’t get dramatic

But your back’s got a tag, and it ain’t designer fabric

No hate, no creep, I ain’t that guy

Just figured you’d want someone to clarify

---

**\[Chorus – Dance Drop]**

Excuse me, miss — don’t freak out

I’m not tryna vibe, I’m just helping out

Excuse me, miss — no disrespect

But there’s a cotton string heading down your leg

Not a pick-up line, not a trap attack

But your tampon’s peeking from the back-back-back

You can thank me later, or call me rude

But someone had to tell you, boo

---

**\[Verse 2 – Funky guitar, sassier tone]**

I get it, girl, the world is weird

But kindness don’t always gotta feel so feared

This ain’t a TikTok prank or viral trend

Just a little PSA from a gay best friend

You struttin’ fierce in your Friday skirt

But the string’s doing jazz hands — it’s gonna alert!

No drama, no shade, no viral view

Just had to make sure you knew

---

**\[Pre-Chorus 2]**

I came in peace — not for your digits

But your outfit’s got… an uninvited widget

So fix that cape, you superhero

‘Cause even Wonder Woman gotta check her mirror tho

---

**\[Chorus – Full Energy Drop]**

Excuse me, miss — don’t freak out

I’m not tryna vibe, I’m just helping out

Excuse me, miss — no disrespect

But there’s a cotton string heading down your leg

Not a pick-up line, not a trap attack

But your tampon’s peeking from the back-back-back

You can thank me later, or call me rude

But someone had to tell you, boo

---

**\[Bridge – Spoken over slow beat / minimal synths]**

(female voice, mellow):

Wait… seriously?

(male):

Mhm. Just tryna save your Instagram stories from becoming memes.

(female):

Oh my god… thank you.

(male):

You're welcome. Girl power and tampon check — we out here.

---

**\[Final Chorus – Uplifting & Funky]**

Excuse me, miss — don’t take offense

Sometimes real talk is just common sense

Excuse me, miss — I kept it real

Now go slay the night with your flawless heels

Not a pick-up line, not a flirt alert

But your tampon’s handled — now own that skirt!

You can laugh it off, or play it cool

But honesty, babe, that’s the golden rule

---

**\[Outro – Funky fade with laughter & crowd FX]**

(male voice):

Next time someone taps you — maybe check the vibe *before* the attitude... just sayin’.

(*laughter*)

**Tampon Patrol, signing off.**

**"Excuse Me, Miss (Tampon Alert)

---

**\[Intro – Ambient synth pads, rain FX, soft female vocal chop loop]**

*(reverbed male whisper, fading in)*

*"Excuse me, miss…"*

*(lo-fi tape hiss + distant vocal fx)*

*"I have a boyfriend."*

*"Yeah, that’s great. Me too."*

*"...But there’s a string… hangin' back…"*

**\[Drop 1 – Mazde-style glitch + detuned piano + warm sub bass]**

(Chopped vocals rise)

*Check it once — check it twice,*

*You lookin’ fire, but forgot the spice.*

*No shame, no fear, just truth on beat,*

*A whisper in the crowd before the retweet.*

*Mirror ain't enough when you're movin' fast,*

*That little white thread — got the last laugh.*

*Not a diss — just real talk, boo,*

*I got your back… literally too.*

---

**\[Build-up – Clock ticks, vinyl slow-down FX, rising delay guitar arpeggios]**

(robotic voice, chopped)

*“Tam-pon... Tam-p-on... warning… approaching… drop…”*

“Visual error detected… skirt anomaly… restoring confidence…”

---

**\[DUBSTEP DROP 1 – Wobble Bass + Machine Gun Hi-Hats + Reverse Vox]**

* Brrraaa-WAAHHHHHHHHHH*

(Glitched scream echo: "YOU GOT A STRING!")

Broken beat, glitch snaps, female vocal reverse loop:

“No flirt… just alert… skirt error… correct course…”

---

Verse 2 – Spoken Word + Lo-fi beat / Ambient FX]

(deep filtered male vocal):

Some call it awkward, I call it bold,

The truth ain't cold, it’s how you’re told.

Not every stare is a loaded gun,

Sometimes it's just a bro — tryna help someone.

(chopped female ad-libs):

“Back-back-back-back-back…”

“String-String…”

“Oh no…”

Drop 2 – Psytrance FX + Glitched Percussion + Bending Pads]

(Suspenseful build)

"Red alert... wardrobe glitch..."

"Deploying… fashion repair..."

🎶 (Whisper chant with delay FX)

🎵 Excuse me, miss… yeah, you lit…

🎵 But girl, that string's got spotlight grit.

🎵 Dub drop hits in silence.