the day starts with heavy bones...

...sunlight stings like broken glass.

i practice in the mirror: "hey! doing great!"...

...but my eyes look like a stranger’s... staring through a fogged-up glass.

insecure? yeah, that’s the ghost...

...haunting every step i take.

you ask "how’ve you been?"

i grin: "couldn’t be better!"

the lie tastes like shit...

...inside? static... hollow... grey.

so i wear the smile...

...stapled to my skin.

it cracks at the edges...

...when the dark sets in.

i say "life’s so good!"...

...while my thoughts turn black.

this show is exhausting...

...can’t turn it back.

just need someone to ask...

..."where’d you really go?"

but i’m just shadows...

...on a bright wall.

friday night at lucy’s party...

...laughing loud with all the rest.

my hands shook holding beer cans...

...faked a text and slipped outside.

sat behind her rusted pickup...

...counted cracks in concrete slabs.

anxiety? fuck, it’s not that..

...it’s the nothing in my breath.

you hugged me: "i missed you!"

i said: "work’s just been crazy!"

felt your warmth soak through my shirt...

...wanted to scream: "i’m not here."

so i wear the smile...

...stapled to my skin.

it cracks at the edges...

...when the dark sets in.

i say "life’s so good!"...

...while my thoughts turn black.

this show is exhausting...

...can’t turn it back.

just need someone to ask...

..."where’d you really go?"

but i’m just shadows...

...on a bright wall.

doc called it "progress"...

...i call it erosion.

swallow the white lie...

...force the smile.

neighbor says "you're better!"...

...rotting from within.

fingers trace the mirror—

...who is this collapsing?

"better"...

.....

...is just quieter decay.

...just decay.

so i wear the smile...

...stapled to my skin.

it cracks at the edges...

...when the dark sets in.

i say "life’s so good!"...

...while my thoughts turn black.

this show is exhausting..

...can’t turn it back.

just need someone to ask...

..."where’d you really go?"

but i’m just shadows...

...on a bright wall.