I Accidentally Joined a Cult (And Now They Won’t Stop Texting Me)
stupidly funny chaos, switching vocals, multiple vocals, hilarious, comedy, EDM, Dubstep, Orchestral, Chaotic, Chaos, Fun, Catchy
I Accidentally Joined a Cult (And Now They Won’t Stop Texting Me)
stupidly funny chaos, switching vocals, multiple vocals, hilarious, comedy, EDM, Dubstep, Orchestral, Chaotic, Chaos, Fun, Catchy
Lyrics
Intro
(Oh no, oh no)
I think I messed up bad
(Oh no, oh no)
They’ve got my mom and dad
Instrumental
Verse 1
I clicked a random link for free chicken nugs
Next thing I know I’m wearing purple hugs
They said “just try the punch, it’s super yum”
Now I’m chanting at the moon and I can’t feel my tongue
They took my phone, gave me a robe and tambourine
Told me “bro, the comet’s coming, time to get real clean”
I said “I just want Wi-Fi,” they said “Wi-Fi is sin”
Now I’m dancing in a field yelling “THE END IS WHEN?!”
Pre-Chorus
I tried to leave, they blocked the gate
Said my aura’s “level 8”
Chorus
I accidentally joined a cult, now they won’t stop texting me
“Brother Starbeam, where you at? The mothership leaves at three!”
I accidentally joined a cult, and my ringtone’s a gong
Every notif is “BLESSINGS BRO” now my battery’s gone
Drop
CULT! CULT! CULT!
THEY CHANGED MY NAME TO BROTHER BUTT
CULT! CULT! CULT!
THEY WANT MY BANK ACCOUNT, WHAT THE—
Instrumental
Verse 2
They made me sell my PS5 for “spiritual gain”
Now I’m hugging random strangers in the pouring rain
Leader Dave says I’m “chosen,” keeps calling me “snuggle bean”
I just wanted nuggets, man, not a lifetime of kale and dreams
They say the world ends Friday, I said “cool, I’ve got laundry”
They gasped like I just murdered their invisible cosmic mommy
Now I’m level 12, got a crystal in my sock
If I hear one more “namaste” I’m gonna yeet this rock
Chorus
I accidentally joined a cult, now they won’t stop texting me
“Starbeam, bring the tinfoil hats, the lizards are on TV!”
I accidentally joined a cult, and my lock screen’s a goat
Every group chat is 47 voice notes of Dave screaming “FLOAT!”
Drop
CULT! CULT! CULT!
THEY MADE ME DRINK THE PUNCH, IT’S FRUIT!
CULT! CULT! CULT!
WAIT THAT’S JUST HAWAIIAN PUNCH, DUDE!
Bridge
I tried to ghost the group chat, they just showed up at my house
With tambourines and glitter, and my mom doing spirit shouts
She said “honey, you look radiant!” I said “MOM THIS IS A SCAM”
Now we’re all in matching robes eating kale chips and spam
Final Chorus
I accidentally joined a cult, now we’re trending on TikTok
Dave’s doing dances in a bedsheet, got 20 million o’clock
I accidentally joined a cult, but the Wi-Fi here is free
And honestly the punch is fire… wait
AM I THE LEADER NOW? OH NO, NOT ME!
Drop
CULT! CULT! CULT!
I JUST WANTED CHICKEN NUGS!
CULT! CULT! CULT!
STARBEAM OUT— PEACE AND HUGS!
Outro
(Oh no, oh no)
They made me Supreme Glowmaster
(Oh no, oh no)
Send nuggets… to my disaster
Instrumental