It’s not that love isn’t wanted…

It’s just never felt safe.

Every time it gets close, something inside pulls away

Like it’s bracing for the fall that always comes.

And maybe the truth is...

Some hearts weren’t built to be held for long.

I want love like a fever dream

But I bite every hand that tries to reach

You say I’m beautiful, I flinch

Like compliments are just a trick

I wear my hurt like armor plates

Smile pretty while I suffocate

I chase the ones who never stay

And run from those who wanna stay

You don’t know what it takes

To live in a heart that thinks it’s a mistake

I want it so bad it makes me sick

But when love knocks, I never let it in

Tell me I’m enough, I’ll call you a liar

I’m drowning in need, but I play with fire

I push, I pull, I break what’s gold

I’m not cold… I’m just hard to hold

I want love, but I don’t feel worth it

Bleeding for it, but scared I’ll burn it

I leave before you get too close

Sabotage the shit I want the most

Been ghosted by the best of them

Now I ghost myself again and again

You try to stay, but I just test

How far I can push before you forget

Say you care? Then prove me wrong

But don’t expect me to play along

It’s not poison, it’s protection

I flinch at love like it’s rejection

I want it so bad it makes me sick

But when love knocks, I never let it in

Tell me I’m enough, I’ll call you a liar

I’m drowning in need, but I play with fire

I push, I pull, I break what’s gold

I’m not cold… I’m just hard to hold

I want love, but I don’t feel worth it

Bleeding for it, but scared I’ll burn it

I break hearts to protect mine

Love me and I’ll make you prove it every time

I don’t trust soft hands or steady eyes

I only know love when it comes with lies

I want love, but I choke it dead

I sleep alone with ghosts in my bed

Don’t save me, I built this hell

Don’t love me, I can't love myself

I’m jagged, jaded, dark, and bold

Not unlovable, just hard to hold

I want it all… but I don’t feel whole

So I smile, and swallow the hole

I want love.

But I never let it stay.

‘Cause deep down… I’m scared it’d walk away.