Yesterday. At the shrink.
Steady hands. I didn’t blink.
I’m the “sane” one. That’s the lie.
Looking him. In the eye.
Sit straight. Don’t twitch.
Don’t be. A crazy bitch.

“How was the week?”
He clicks the pen.
“Let’s talk about,”
“Your mom again.”
“The part where she,”
“Gave you away.”
The light is cold.
The room is gray.

She priced my skin.
By the inch.
Didn’t even.
Feel the pinch.
Sold the body.
To pay the rent.
I was the money.
That she spent.

Silence.
For a minute or two.
He’s thinking of.
What to do.
“And how does that,”
“Make you feel?”
God, I love.
This fucking wheel.

“I feel like… nothing.”
“Is that okay?”
“Can I go back,”
“To the world of gray?”
It’s not a hole.
It’s not a sting.
It’s just another.
Fucking thing.

So I bought a person.
To feel some weight.
To clean the dirt.
Off my own plate.
I found a man.
In the trash.
And gave him.
All my cash.

He was a zero.
In the dark.
I gave him fire.
I gave him a spark.
I bought his ego.
With my soul.
Now the loser.
Is in control.

He’s strutting now.
Like he’s the shit.
Forgot the mouth.
That I had to bit.
He’s using my lines.
To cut me deep.
The little secret.
He’s meant to keep.

I take my bag.
I avoid the gaze.
I’ve been in here.
For a purple haze.
“Take your meds,”
He says with a nod.
I’m out of the door.
I’m out to the odd.

Forget the trauma.
Forget the pain.
I need a smoke.
And a candy cane.
“Hey Max,”
“I’m bored.”
Total silence.
In the ward.