A new hero’s born, (yeah!)

but not from heaven’s light,

a pussy farted him out,

(factually? — no way, right?!)

Listen to the story…

that proudly tells…

how a filthy smell...

beats money itself!

Are you ready for the show?

‘Cause Fart-man’s here to blow!

Born in a hospital, smile on his face,

with a charged-up ass, ready to amaze.

Doctors froze, mom hit the floor,

dad just yelled: “That’s my boy — he shat five hundred more!”

Pressure — fart! — boom! — nurse caught the blast,

five hundred crowns from his mouth flew fast.

Miracle — gift — cash — oh damn!

You’ll serve that money ‘til the day you scram.

[Chorus] (x2)

Fart-man! — farts right in your face!

He blows a breeze — your wallet’s in place!

Fart-man! — Liberec god of biz!

He guards the city — even when he’s constipiz’d!

He started his hustle, quiet in a tram,

three farts a day — what a business plan!

Went to the bank, tried to get paid,

but one sniff of his bills — and people decayed!

So he bought a mask, a brown long coat,

on Ještěd hill — that’s his note.

Underground base — fart-mobile garage,

money rustles nightly with a butt massage.

[Chorus] (x2)

Fart-man! — farts right in your face!

He blows a breeze — your wallet’s in place!

Fart-man! — Liberec god of biz!

He guards the city — even when he’s constipiz’d!

When villains come with evil plans,

he turns around — and shows his glands!

Then BOOM! — bones hit the floor,

people cheer — “We want more!”

Kids shout: “Mom, he’s cool as hell!”

(one minute later — dead from the smell...)

But heroes pay their price in pain,

his farts bring fortune — and then the slain.

One blast too strong from down below,

and all that’s left — was dust and dough.

The moral’s simple, just for a laugh:

Don’t shit on the world — use your gas!

If you’ve got a gift — then let it blow,

but money stinks — and kills, you know.