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Ah... those pesky wee creatures

Cats!! If you don't 'ave one of 'em, you are proper fucked

But if you do, aye, if you do, you are fucked anyways

So... pour a pint, coz this is my story folks

One, two, three, Meow!

She’s got a face like an angel, a coat like silk

But she knocks over me whiskey to get to the fucking milk

I know she should not drink that kind of shit

But are you gonna be the one to tell her this?! Hey! Hey!

Claws in the sofa, fur on the suit

A tiny little terrorist, but isn’t she fucking cute?! Hey! Hey!

My Kitty cat's, My Kitty cat's

My Kitty cat's so fuckin' cute

So cute, so so, cute, cute!

BUT SHE'S AN ASS! SHE'S AN ASS!

SHE'S AN ASS, ASSHOLE

Forgive her every time, Hey! Hey!

BUT SHE'S AN ASS, SHE'S AN ASS, ASSHOLE!

Yeah, she’s such a bonnie little brute! Hey! Hey!

BUT SHE'S AN ASSHOLE

SUCH AN ASSHOLE! Hey! Hey!

Bought her twenty som'thin toys

But she prefers balls made of fucking tin-foil

Brought a cozy velvet bed for her at home

She keeps sleeping on a fucking cardboard box, Hey! Hey!

Dead mouse in my slipper, stone-cold on the mat

I scream like a banshee, she purrs like a fucking Kitty cat! Hey! Hey!

ME ME ME

MEOW MEOW

This fucking cat is my whole world now!

ME ME ME

MEOW MEOW MEOW OW

Hey! Hey!

My Kitty cat's, My Kitty cat's

My Kitty cat's so fuckin' cute

So cute, so so, cute, cute!

BUT SHE'S AN ASS! SHE'S AN ASS!

SHE'S AN ASS, ASSHOLE

Forgive her every time, Hey! Hey!

BUT SHE'S AN ASS, SHE'S AN ASS, ASSHOLE!

Yeah, she’s such a bonnie little brute! Hey! Hey!

BUT SHE'S AN ASSHOLE

SUCH AN ASSHOLE! Hey! Hey!

She bites my big toe

She scratches the tip of my nose. Hey! Hey!

She jumps on my chest

in the middle of the fucking night at 4

But when she purrs looking at me

With those fucking big green eyes...

ME ME ME

MEOW MEOW

This fucking cat is my whole world now!

ME ME ME

MEOW MEOW MEOW OW

Hey! Hey!

Isn´t the wee fecker cute?! huh!?