Hello my dear listeners.

I used to live near a major university. One day I was driving my 1968 fastback mustang near there and saw a tall man in fatigues with the most beautifully shined boots I had ever seen jogging along the roadside.

This caught my attention because two weeks prior I had heard gunfire from a large parcel of undeveloped land that the university owned and had gone out to investigate what had been going on.

I stopped my stang next to him, rolled down the window and called out, "Hey! Are you rotsee?" He replied yes and I continued, "Hold on a minute. I want to talk to you."

I parked the mustang, opened the door and swung out. I was wearing jump boots, bell bottom jeans, a biker's cap, aviator sunglasses and a faded fatigue shirt with my rank on it.

As soon as he saw the stripes he went into a perfect parade at rest.

I walked up. "Two weeks ago you guys were out playing soldier in the fields next to the stadium right?"

He nodded. I reached down deep for my best Drill Instructor impersonation.

"You are the sloppiest bunch of officer wannabes in the field that I have ever seen!"

"There were nine of you in your squad. You just left your C Rat cartons laying around your campfire. All I had to do was count them. Oh, and I saw your beer can."

"That wasn't ours!" He exclaimed. "That was there when we got there."

"All right, I will let that one go." I replied, right before going back into bulldog mode.

"You had two spots where you had simulated firefights. One at the bridge going over the creek and another under the power line tower on the hill. You just left your brass laying around. Brass can be used against you. I also found where you set fire to the field with a parachute flare. Again, the canister was just left there. Those make nifty booby traps."

Then I leaned in closer, to a man who I only came up to the chest of, and went in for the kill.

"But what REALLY PISSED ME OFF, there is a trail that runs beside the creek. Someone set up a grenade trap, and they set it up wrong. You left a live M 80 in that thing. Some kid could have found that and blown his hand off. I took care of that one for you."

A pause for dramatic effect. Then I continued. "Now I WAS going to go talk to your C O about all of this. But I tell you what. Since I ran into you today......YOU tell him for me."

"YES SIR!" He responded. I finished with a magnanimous "That's all. You have a good day." And climbed back into the stang and drove off as he resumed jogging.

I went back later that evening to find that they had returned and policed up everything that they had left lying around.