I looked for you where it hurt the least in the idea that it was you.

I shaped my void just like you just to avoid my own light I held onto what wasn't there to promises with no voice, no skin, 'cause accepting that I was losing you... meant accepting I was lost too.

I whispered your name in the dark as if it were a holy truth, but it was only an excuse to keep from facing myself

I swore it was you leaving me to drift away, but it was me letting go of the wheel every time I felt alive. I called you love, I called you absence, called you the reason I was falling down, when the deepest abandonment... was refusing to see who I am!

Walked with fear upon my shoulders, with a cold weight in my chest, thought the loss was losing you but I was losing myself in the reflection. I kept talking about "us" just to hide that I’m broken, and I crawled into your memory so I wouldn't have to touch my own shadow.

You didn't leave… I just hid away. It wasn't the end, it was me refusing to feel

It wasn't you I missed, it was me

Today I don't call, I don't wait, I don't use you to survive.

The hardest loneliness was living so far from me.

yeah, far from me

from me...