Bad Shape
Orthodox liturgical choral music, Mixed choir featuring sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses performing a cappella, The arrangement utilizes homophonic textures with block chordal movements and occasional polyphonic layering, The vocal delivery is characterized by a resonant, cathedral-style natural reverb, The piece follows a slow, rubato-like tempo without a fixed percussion-driven beat, relying on the natural cadence of the liturgical text, The harmonic language is rooted in Church Slavonic traditions, utilizing minor keys with frequent shifts to relative majors and Picardy thirds at phrase endings, Sopranos lead with melodic lines while the basses provide deep, pedal-point foundations, The dynamics range from hushed pianissimo to powerful, fortissimo choral swells
Bad Shape
Orthodox liturgical choral music, Mixed choir featuring sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses performing a cappella, The arrangement utilizes homophonic textures with block chordal movements and occasional polyphonic layering, The vocal delivery is characterized by a resonant, cathedral-style natural reverb, The piece follows a slow, rubato-like tempo without a fixed percussion-driven beat, relying on the natural cadence of the liturgical text, The harmonic language is rooted in Church Slavonic traditions, utilizing minor keys with frequent shifts to relative majors and Picardy thirds at phrase endings, Sopranos lead with melodic lines while the basses provide deep, pedal-point foundations, The dynamics range from hushed pianissimo to powerful, fortissimo choral swells
Lyrics
I'm proud of everything, every crooked part that somehow turned into me
I accept everything, even the bitter side of me that keeps sounding like you
My useless little gift, my thin temper
But also the nerve to still want something too big
I'm always restless, every step from others grinding little holes through my effort
How often have I leaned on that colder part of me that speaks like you
I'm sick of watching myself, who never truly rests behind the brave face I forced myself to wear, even though I thought it would be fine to be made uneven
"Honestly, if we are being fair
It's useless, I know I won't reach the absolute highest place"
I know, I understand, but
Stupidly, sharply, I still can't agree with it
Why did I end up with such awkward
and badly matched strengths?
We cried, we laughed, we fought, we gave ourselves to what we loved
And we cried, we laughed, over and over again
At a reckless pace
No matter how often you win, what comes after still looks brutal
Seriously, what even is this? When I lose and lose and lose again,
old thoughts slow my progress
The ugliest gifts from my past self and you
My careful and calculating side
is a brace protecting me. I'm too scared to take it off
I know, I understand, but
my pride is still new, pale, damp, and itching badly
Both are me and you,
both are my honest feelings, which makes it even worse
"Because I began too late,"
"Because the field is too enormous,"
"Some people are simply built different,"
"I mean, as long as you enjoy it, that's enough."
No, shut up
Even so, there were moments when I lost to you
Fine, I guess that's true
One steady belief or clean conviction doesn't really suit me
But I've had enough of bending now
I won't let myself be used by your rules
I still
(I still)
I don't want to lose to anyone
(I don't want to lose)
Please, that hunger
(please, that hunger)
Don't disappear!
Wearing the shape we made ourselves
We cried, we laughed, we fought
We gave ourselves to what we loved
We'll still cry, we'll laugh
Now that we're here, let's compete for real
Wearing the shape we made ourselves
Joy and grief, fear and expectation, plain despair
It's all yours and mine
Wearing the shape we made ourselves
We'll cry and laugh until we can't anymore
"It was actually good"
I'm glad I stayed alive