I live in your tool shed

Yeah, I live in your tool shed

Because mathematically,

It's the best place to be

When the apocalypse hits and we gotta

-go on a scavenging spree

Now, now, don't be scared

Don't run away

I'm just a normal-ass dad

Toss the pepper-spray

I've been hiding here

For 16 years

Because of it's geographical location,

And the facilities it lies near!

half a mile to the gun store

Wallmart near the corner

Local dam just a stone toss away (woncha say)

So don't mind me here today

Or you'll leave me all astraaaaaay!

(because!)

I live in your tool shed

Yeah, I live in your tool shed

Because mathematically,

It's the best place to be

When the apocalypse hits and we gotta

-go on a scavenging spree

All the noises you hear at night!

(That's me!)

All the times you felt that fright!

(That's me!)

All the milk gone from the fridge!

(That's me!)

Cuz I really like milk!!!!

All the holes in your yard

(That was me!)

Who nabbed your bank card?

(That was me!)

Who watched you having sex?

That wasn't actually me, that was Creepy Steve. ((hello!))

He also lives here.

Now sing along!!!

I live in your tool shed

Yeah, I live in your tool shed

Because mathematically,

It's the best place to be

When the apocalypse hits and we gotta

-go on a scavenging spree

So now that you know I'm here

I have prepared a list of stuff

That has annoyed me

Fix that so we can live in harmony

No noise after 9 PM

I'm a light sleeper

Your son keeps clicking his pen

And I get a temper

Not to make a fuss,

But I'm allergic to nuts so,

You'll have to go without

We have to compromise,

And tell no lies if,

This partnership is gonna work out

And stop making babies

You can clearly not afford them

Now that your salary has gone down

I heard that through the vent

And I expect you to pay rent

So me and Creepy Steve can have some money to spend.

Because-

I live in your tool shed

Yeah, I live in your tool shed

Because mathematically,

It's the best place to be

When the apocalypse hits and we gotta

-go on a scavenging spree