**Verse 1**

*Another pep talk from my cat poster on the wall—*

*“You’re a star!” Yeah, cool, but my WiFi’s down, that’s all.*

*My therapist says, “Breathe in, count to four!”*

*I’m counting pizza rolls melting on the floor.*

**Pre-Chorus**

*My dreams? Oh, they’re vintage—collecting dust on a shelf.*

*But hey, at least my student loans are “building character” by myself!*

**Chorus**

*I’m thriving like a houseplant that you forgot to kill!*

*(Water me with caffeine, let’s see if I survive still.)*

*My résumé’s a meme, my rent’s a horror flick—*

*But I’ll scream, “I’m fine!” till the chorus hits. **YEAH, PICK IT UP!***

**Verse 2**

*My ex said, “Find yourself!” So I’m lost in Target aisle five,*

*Buying scented candles to pretend I’m alive.*

*My band’s got three chords and a name we can’t spell—*

*“Existential Crisp™” – we’ll sell out (to our friends in Hell).*

**Pre-Chorus**

*My “hustle”? Midnight scrolling through TikTok cringe,*

*But I’ll call it “research” while my productivity dies, thanks, Bing!*

**Chorus**

*I’m thriving like a houseplant that you forgot to kill!*

*(Water me with caffeine, let’s see if I survive still.)*

*My résumé’s a meme, my rent’s a horror flick—*

*But I’ll scream, “I’m fine!” till the chorus hits. **YEAH, SHRED IT!***

**Bridge**

*Let’s start a cult! (But make it gluten-free.)*

*I’ll preach “self-care” while I binge *Riverdale* S3.*

*We’ll “adult” so hard—mismatched socks, unpaid bills—*

*Toast with expired kombucha: “Here’s to our 5-year plans… *chugs*”*

**Outro**

*(Chorus x2, shouted over power chords and a pizza box smashing a lamp)*

*I’m thriving like a houseplant… (Wild guess: I’m not.)*

*But the curtain’s closin’, so…* ***middle finger to the plot!***

Verse 3

I’m thriving like a houseplant… (Wild guess: I’m not.)

But the curtain’s closin’, so… middle finger to the plot!

The universe said, “Manifest!” but all I did was yawn,

My spirit guide just texted back: “lol, you’re on your own.”

My horoscope’s a tragedy, my fate’s a loading screen,

Manifesting? Sure—if that just means ignoring everything!

I’m thriving like a houseplant that you forgot to kill!

(Water me with caffeine, let’s see if I survive still.)

My résumé’s a meme, my rent’s a horror flick—

But I’ll scream, “I’m fine!” till the chorus hits—

(Instruments drop out—just raw vocals:)

“I’M FIIIIIIINE—!!!” (Pause…) BUT CLEARLY NOT!

“Somebody cue the credits—my budget’s running out!”

“Somebody call my therapist—oh wait, I BLOCKED THEM NOW!”

“Somebody tell my landlord that exposure don’t pay rent!”

“Somebody tell my brain to SHUT UP—oh, nevermind, it went!”