[Intro: Male Vocals]
Yeah… she told me she’d handle the dishes.
But here I am… fork in hand… washing my own damn pain.
Hell no.

[Verse 1: Male Vocals]
She said, “You cook, I’ll clean” — that was our deal,
But them pots still crusty like a wagon wheel.
There’s gunk on the plates, and spite in the air,
She said she’d wash ‘em, but I don’t think she care.

[Pre-Chorus: Male Vocals]
She got a ring, I got a sponge,
This ain’t love, it’s a rinse cycle grudge.
I’m soakin’ in soap, she’s scrollin’ TikTok,
And now I’m startin’ to think she married for crockpots.

[Chorus: Male Vocals]
The dishwasher’s a liar! (Liar!)
Ain’t seen suds since our weddin’ attire!
She got a Keurig, I got regret,
And a sink full o’ trauma that’s still drippin’ wet!

[Verse 2: Male Vocals]
She say, “That ain’t my job, I’m a queen, not a maid,”
But royalty don’t microwave ten-year-old flayed fillets.
I’m eatin’ off Frisbees, she’s postin’ pics,
“DinnerForTwo” but it’s lies and fish sticks.

[Bridge: Spoken Word / Breakdown]
I once saw her load a fork in upside-down…
IN. UPSIDE. DOWN.


[Chorus 2: Male Vocals]
The dishwasher’s a liar! (Liar!)
All them dirty spoons startin’ a choir!
She got a spa day, I got a rash,
From washin’ dishes in this marital trash!

[Outro]
So if you ever say “I do,”
Make sure she ain’t just leavin’ suds to you…
I loved her deep, I loved her true…
But now my heart’s got soap scum too.

[Spoken]
“She just bought a new air fryer… didn’t even open the manual.”