I got better at answering

When people ask how I’ve been

I sleep through the night now

Most nights

I don’t check the doors twice

I keep my calendar full

I laugh when I’m supposed to

I say all the right things

Out loud

Like I practiced the lines

But somewhere between getting used to it

And calling it peace

I noticed the quiet

Took the place where you used to be

I’m still loading

I guess I always was

Everything’s working

Just slower than it looks

I’m still loading

Not broken, just paused

I’m standing right here

Waiting on someone I was

I moved on without moving far

Learned how to carry the weight

There’s nothing dramatic

No scene

Just days that repeat

I built something solid

Out of what didn’t stay

It looks good from the outside

I know

I helped make it that way

I don’t feel guilty like I used to

Just strange

Like I found a way through

But left something behind

I’m still loading

The screen never clears

I’m fine in the daylight

I stall in the years

I’m still loading

No warning, no sign

Still haunted by

The person I’ve been

I stopped asking when it would finish

Stopped needing it done

If this is the version that made it

Then this is the one

There’s no moment it clicks into place

No finish line crossed

Just learning to live

With all that it costs

I’m still loading

And that might be alright

Nothing’s on fire

Yet nothing feels right

I’m still loading

But I’m here, and I stay

I don’t need it to end

Just to get through the day

If it ever completes

I’ll let it arrive

But this version of me

Is still who’s alive

I’m still loading

But I’m here, and I stay

I don’t need it to end

Just to get through the day

Just to get through the day