Well I worked all week at the factory line

Thought I'd treat myself to a real good time

Walked into that club with cash to burn

But boys, let me tell you what I had to learn

I was good and relaxed from more beers than I could count

She said "Relax honey" and I sure did, no doubt

The lights were low and the music played

And that's when my big mistake was made

Don't fall asleep during the lapdance (don't do it!)

They'll take everything you got

They'll say you sat through ten whole songs

And threaten you right there on the spot

She wasn't even there when I woke up (where'd she go?)

Just a bouncer and a bill

So trust me boys, know your limit

Or you'll be payin' still

I opened my eyes to fluorescent lights

Some big ol' fella said "Pay up tonight"

I said "Ten songs? I was out cold, friend!"

He said "That ain't my problem, this ain't the end"

My wallet's cryin', my pride is shot

More beers than I could count, that's what I bought

No book or school could teach this rule

Just a drunk tired man playin' the fool

Don't fall asleep during the lapdance (stay awake now!)

They'll take everything you got

They'll say you sat through ten whole songs

And threaten you right there on the spot

She wasn't even there when I woke up (vanished like smoke!)

Just a receipt and regret

So take it from me, young fellas

This advice you won't forget

Now I ain't sayin' don't have fun

But if you're drunk AND tired, son, your night is done

Go home, sleep it off in your own bed

'Cause that champagne room'll cost your whole paycheck instead

Don't fall asleep during the lapdance (I'm beggin' ya!)

They'll take everything you got

They'll say you sat through ten whole songs

And threaten you right there on the spot

She wasn't even there when I woke up (poof, she's gone!)

Just lessons learned the hard way

So heed my words, watch the beer count

Or you're gonna have a real bad day!

Trust me... just don't fall asleep during the lapdance.