Woke up, woke up in a church

Her boots on stone, looked up and saw a pretty boy with perfect hair and tone

He reached out a hand like "Bingo's over, come with me"

And I was like, "Did you expect someone taller?" (Heh)

Then slide straight into his pocket [bass slide]

My dad the mouse president found a good one, that's for sure

Window jump outside and mystery man appears

Leaning like he's about to flirt with the air itself

He opens his mouth and I pop out like "Say something I dare you"

He freezes, that's what I thought

And then the walls start shaking

I'm squeaking out through the chaos, Leon

Zombies on the stairs and you keep that safety off

Tail flicking, ear popping, still squeaking

Shotgun going strong, spin kick ballet

And I'm vibing all along

Squeaking, hey bro, his cabin's shaky

Hunky hero and I'm front pocket Mousely

Dust settles, Luis leaves, Leon reloads

I peek out like "Ooh, pretty spooky castle"

He sighs, I squeak, balance restored

Then this little theater kid creep shows up

Not much taller than me honestly

Talking like he owns the whole continent

Next thing I know, we're sprinting from a statue the size of my dad's ego (Woo!)

Leon's dodging, jumping, looking like an action movie hottie

And I'm just vibing in the pocket like front row seat

Then he turns into this slug teethy thing

Ew, gross, but honestly still an improvement

Get moused!

Okay Leon, I gotta say it

How the heck did you let bugs take me away?

I'm six inches tall, bro, you had one job

And now I'm in jail again like it's my nine to five

And these lousy Illuminados weirdos keep chanting about Las Plagas

Like it's a pyramid scheme wellness retreat

I didn't sign up for any of this

I'm squeaking mad, Leon S. Kennedy

I'm pacing in this cell like a mouse on tail

You're out there looking hot, spin kicking your feelings, organizing that inventory

I hate how cool you are

So let me get this straight

Luis's died and you rode rollercoasters without me?

Bro, I was in jail again

Fine, I'll save myself

We crawl through a vent like a furry little ninja

Drop into a hallway like "Surprise, losers"

Ran from suits of armor, burned a pale man with a lantern

Only for some dude named Krauser

Scoop me up and toss me in a different cell

Great, fantastic, where the squeak is Leon?

I'm squeaking out through a knife fight, Leon

Mad at you but dang that parry game strong

Whiskers twitching, ears popping, who is this guy?

Hair swish, blade clash like an action anime fight

Squeaking, hey Leon, I'm squeaking tight

I hate how you shine, pretty boy drama

And you're still looking fine

Okay Leon, let's back up and blow this place

Gotta deal with that guy with the sadder-looking face

And I'm like "Bro, wrap it up, I got cheese to eat"

Then suddenly, whoa, who is that gorgeous woman in red?

She swings in like the fashion disaster angel

Hair perfect, heels perfect, and I'm sitting in your pocket like

Leon, explain immediately

Then she just—did she just throw you an RPG?

Like it's a bouquet at a wedding?

How do I compete with that?

I'm six inches tall and emotionally unstable (Whoa!)

Jet ski! [engine revving sound]

I'm squeaking out through the tunnel, Leon

Water's crashing down but you keep that throttle on

My cute mouse ears flapping, the whole cave's falling

Pretty boy hero with the engine stalling (Whoa!)

I'm squeaking out, we burst through the light

Splash you in the face like we did it right

Same time next week, or what, you sexy man?

I'm squeaking out, Mousely Graham out!