okay, so technically…

the casino said “lifetime ban”

but nowhere in the paperwork did it specify which lifetime

I have a time machine, so, suck it

Dave is currently yelling “ooga” at the navigation system again

Stompington is threatening to file a formal complaint against space itself

And I think we’re heading toward Earth

unless I’m misreading the stars again… that happens sometimes..

four hundred twenty lightyears out past anywhere I know

dashboard flickering like a cheap casino

ship smells weird but I’m not asking why

Dave just yelled “ooga” at a cop ship flying by

we stopped at a truck stop back around Neptune

that was a long time ago, I stopped keeping track

Dave disappeared for a while like he always does

came back with a live chicken and a carton of moon smokes

Stompington’s losing his prehistoric cool

threatening extinction over broken air conditioning units

buddy we lost the left door three systems ago

if the engine stops screaming that’s how we know something’s wrong

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

windows down in the asteroid smoke

ship held together by duct tape and hope

still somehow flying, still somehow stoned

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

wrong turn somewhere past Orion’s glow

engine light on but we’re still gonna roll

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

we stopped for snacks at a sketchy asteroid mall

Dave yelled “ooga” and licked the bathroom wall (ew!)

pretty sure he got engaged to something in there

honestly I don’t have the energy to care

Stompington started crashing out again

talking about standards and vehicular negligence

meanwhile I’m kicking the fuel gauge with my boot

praying real hard and adjusting the aux input

got a black hole sitting right beside the road

gps just says bro I honestly don’t know

every warning light turned on at once tonight

but if I cover them with tape they disappear from sight

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

windows down in the asteroid smoke

ship held together by duct tape and hope

still somehow flying, still somehow stoned

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

wrong turn somewhere past Orion’s glow

engine light on but we’re still gonna roll

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

now the ship is making noises it has never made before

Dave is yelling “ooga” while he fights the cargo door

Stompington is staring at me like I ruined his life

and something in the vents just asked me for advice

I don’t know where we are

but we are not going home yet

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

windows down in the asteroid smoke

ship held together by duct tape and hope

still somehow flying, still somehow stoned

four hundred twenty lightyears from home

wrong turn somewhere past Orion’s glow

engine light on but we’re still gonna roll

four hundred twe