YEAH MAN…

Mi wake up… face inna sand…

Boat GONE… phone DEAD…

Mi say—

“…dis look like vacation… but mi nah book dis…”

Mi start walk through di jungle slow

Sun a blaze and mi foot dem hot like coal

Mi seh “anybody here??” echo come back

Next ting mi hear—heels pon rock… CLACK CLACK

One gal step out—then TWO… then TEN

Then whole army a gyal just pull up again

Different size, different style, different flavor

Mi say “LORD… yuh bless mi… or punish mi later??”

Too much gyal fi ONE man, mi nah ready

Everywhere mi turn is a new gal steady

Some a dem sweet, some a dem deadly

Mi shipwreck… but dis nah look friendly

Too much gyal fi ONE man alive

Mi try fi run but dem block mi side

Mi think a dream… mi nah survive

Send help… or at least one wife

One say “come here baby, rub mi feet”

Next one yell “GO COOK TACOS fi mi eat!”

One a mix potion inna coconut shell

Mi ask “wah dat?” she say “love spell…”

One a narcissist—selfie all day

“Take mi picture… no angle… NO, NOT THAT WAY!!”

Next one toxic—start argument fast

“Who you lookin’ at??”

Mi run through di trees—dem still deh pon mi

One climb branch like jungle monkey

One whisper soft like “stay with me…”

Next one scream “YOU BELONG TO WE!!”

Mi tired… mi hungry… mi soul get weak

Mi say “all mi want is peace fi a WEEK!!”

Dem say “NO!! YOU STAY RIGHT HERE!!”

Mi say “Jesus Christ… mi disappear…”

Too much gyal fi ONE man, mi nah stable

Mi get summoned to FIVE different table

One want love, one want label

One want war, flip whole table

Too much gyal fi ONE man alive

Mi sanity start fi nosedive

Mi nah king… mi nah survive

Mi just want ONE… not twenty-five!!

Then silence drop… whole jungle freeze…

Footstep heavy… break through di trees…

She step out—tall, strong, calm

Muscle Mommy wit a healing charm

She say:

“Yuh look tired… come sit by me.”

Hand mi water… set mi free

Mi heart say “FINALLY… NORMALCY!!”

She cook food… she guard mi peace

All di madness finally cease

Other gyal fade like bad dream

Mi say “you alone fi mi queen…”

Mi shipwreck… but mi find mi life

From chaos island… to ONE good wife