Good evening, dear listeners.

Picture, if you will, two wayward lovers. A blown tire. A dead phone. A storm that ate the moon.

Misfortune, that most faithful chauffeur, has delivered them to a dark and dim abode on a country road in the middle of nowhere.

They approach.

First you knock in the door,
Then you jump back in fright
The figure before you veiled
Drags you into the light
You shuffle round the crowd
Noting everything off
Is it too late to run

STOP!!



It's time to dance, darling.



[Verse 1 - female lead, nervous]
We were just looking for a telephone,
Rain in our shoes, headlights gone.
He said honey don't panic, but the porch light blinked,
And the door creaked open on its own.

[Verse 2 - male lead, trying to be brave]
Candles sweating on the walls,
Velvet, lace, and animal calls.
A dame with stitches for lips pours wine,
A doctor in glitter says you're right on time.

[Pre-Chorus - ensemble chant]
Left foot twitch, right foot slide,
Everyone's grinning a little too wide!

[Chorus - full cast, gang vocals, call and response]
Do the midnight shuffle! (Shuffle! Shuffle!)
It's a jolt to the spine with a velvet shove!
Do the midnight shuffle! (Shuffle! Shuffle!)
One step in and you're never the same, love!

Hip sway, spin around,
Kiss the dark and hear that sound!
Heels click, hearts thump,
Welcome to the jump!

[Verse 3 - playful, describing the house freaks]
Meet Miss Fortune in her widow's veil,
Count Nocturne with a coffin tail,
The twins who finish each other's screams,
And a glam spaceman in sewn-up seams.

They're painted, they're pierced, they're gloriously wrong,
They move like a nightmare learning a song.

[Bridge - spoken over vamp, deep theatrical narrator]
Ah, do you feel it? The rhythm rewriting you. The polite boy loosens his tie. The sensible girl lets her lipstick bleed. Resistance is... unfashionable.

[Female whisper] I can feel my pulse in my feet!
[Male whisper] I don't want to leave!

[Breakdown - whispered counting]
It's just a shiver, then a shake,
Then a soul you gladly break,
One, two, three, surrender complete!

[Final Chorus - bigger, add harmonies]
Do the midnight shuffle! (Shuffle! Shuffle!)
Skin to sequin, fear to fun!
Do the midnight shuffle! (Shuffle! Shuffle!)
Two came knocking, now we're one!

Hip sway, spin around,
Lost ones never want found!
Heels click, hearts thump,
Darling, take the jump!

[Outro - music fades to heartbeat, spoken - deep theatrical narrator]
They came for shelter. They stayed for the step.
Knock again tomorrow night, won't you? We'll leave the light on... in the dark.

[distant ensemble giggle, one last handclap]