I push through doors to the pulse and glow,

Crowds move like waves, the night’s in flow.

I sip down courage, but it burns too hot,

All I taste is the fear and doubts I thought I forgot.

Across the crowded room, their eyes find mine,

A quiet weight that slows my restless mind.

I catch the edge of their deliberate stare,

And suddenly I’m tangled in what’s not there.

Do they see the way my shirt doesn’t fit right?

Or how my smile fades under these lights?

Is my hair a mess, am I standing too still?

What’s broken inside that they might feel?

I shrink beneath the buzz, the pounding sound,

Wondering if they see what’s breaking down.

The weight of all these eyes around..

I can't see them if I watch the ground...

Pick your head up! The voices made this all up

No one’s watching the way you breathe,

No one’s counting your crooked teeth.

You’re not broken, just standing still,

You’re closer than you feel.

Glass clinks loud, the bass gets slow

My senses melt, but I still won’t go

The room spins sweet, then sour and sharp

Laughter cuts like knives in the dark

I dance in my head, brave in pretend

But my feet stay glued, as I try to blend.

Their eyes feel heavy, my hands feel wrong

I mouth the words to someone else’s song

I’m tired of standing just out of reach

Watching life unfold behind closed doors

If I could scream, if I could fall

Would anyone care to catch me at all?

Pick your head up! The voices made this all up

No one’s watching the way you breathe,

No one’s counting your crooked teeth.

You’re not broken, just standing still,

You’re closer than you feel.

The lights go soft, the laughter thins,

And I’m left chasing shivers through my skin.

Mad at the way I slipped again,

Let shadows write the story I meant to begin.

The night folds down like tired eyes,

I curse the silence, swallow my lies.

Fingers trembling on a thread so thin,

Pulling tight the knot I’m tangled in.

No one’s watching the way I breathe,

I'm not broken, just standing still.

I'm closer than I feel....

No one's watching me....