In his laboratory,

burdened and busy

The alchemist toiled

o’er cauldron quite fizzy

With distillates and tinctures

And crystals and runes

No longer would royalty

Think him a buffoon

This was it, the substrate!

His goal he could taste

But as it was added

… it blew up in his face

[Alchemist] JESTER-RAH! JESTER-RAH! I know this was you!

Swapping labels again,

you’re BANNED from this room!

The king will hear of this,

And he won’t be amused

By the end of this day

You’ll be beheaded, you fool!!!

[Jester] You call me a Fool? I dare say you are wrong. You’ve only succeeded in failure all along. I, on the other hand, always get my result. So I don’t think it’s fair that it’s me YOU insult!

A ridiculous assertion! My profession, it’s true,

Is a trial and error, but each day what I do

Brings this kingdom closer to wealth not yet to be seen

While your only calling is simpleton for the king

JESTER-RAH!, JESTER-RAH! You’re intellectually broke

You think you’re a hoot

But it’s you that’s the joke

My assignment is to transmute

Lead to gold for this place

While your greatest achievement

Is falling flat on your face

So you say, so you say, but I’m not finished yet

So why don’t we settle this, like men, with a bet?

I’ll make something grand with not a potion or tool

But only with words, then you’ll see who’s the fool

I’ve had enough of your nonsense. Fine! Go ahead!

An impossible task to occupy an empty head.

Be gone from my lab, and bother me no more

Imbeciles like yourself belong on THAT side of my door!

And so this was the day, the Jester took aim

A quest to show cleverness is a fool’s game

The alchemist using not even a potion

Set a cascade of otherworldly events into motion