I walk in smooth with a code name and grin

Black suit sharp, got the mission pinned

Earpiece buzzing, they’re in my head

“Stay cool, stay quiet”, that’s what they said

I order a drink, I lean on the bar

Bartender asks me where I’m from, I go too far

“Well technically I’m stationed just outside...”

(Voice in my ear: “DON’T YOU DARE FINISH THAT LINE.”)

I try to play it casual, I really do my best

But every time I open up, I overshare the rest

I’m top secret, highly trained

But my mouth can’t stay contained

Got a license to be discreet

But I spill it to everyone I meet

Undercover, master plan

Blown by small talk and a shaky hand

I’d save the world if I just could stop

Saying classified things to all of my ops

Met a contact by a neon sign

Password phrase was “The stars align”

He said, “Nice weather,” I said, “Indeed”

Then added, “Also I planted the bug in the embassy...”

He froze mid sip, I froze mid breath

My handler whispered, “You’re a national threat”

I laughed it off like it’s all a joke

Then handed him documents I was not supposed to show

I got the gadgets, I got the flair

But subtlety just isn’t there

I’m top secret, highly trained

But my mouth can’t stay contained

Got a license to be discreet

But I narrate every covert feat

Undercover, master plan

Ruined by me and my big mouth again

I’d save the world if I could just stop

Turning secrets into small talk with my ops

Red laser beams, I dodge them clean

Crack every code, unseen, pristine

But ask me how my day has been

I’ll list three ops and where I’ve been

Don’t say the target, don’t say the place,

“Yeah so tomorrow I’ll infiltrate the base...”

Static screaming in my ear,

“…I mean, uh… grocery store. For some beer....”

They trained me hard, they trained me right

But not for casual convo at night

The world’s at stake, the clock won’t stop

And I just told a stranger the laptop’s drop spot

I’m top secret, can’t you see?

That’s kind of the problem, isn't everybody?

Every mission, every plan

Accidentally shared with a random fan

Undercover, no one knows

Except the Uber driver and three of my foes

I’d save the world if I could just stop…

“Wait, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“…And my real name is....” [cut to static]