Nah listen yeah Im not on this online back and forth.

Its not that deep.

But I was out Friday, at the chicken shop, same faces, same nonsense…

Then you roll in like you’re the main character.

Which is mad, ’cause you can’t even be an extra without stealing my lines.

I clocked it and thought nah.

So allow it look

Chat shit, then panic that’s your pattern, bruv,

Talk onsight then you vanish standard, bruv.

Hard online, soft offline it’s backwards, bruv,

You don’t run the ends, you just run your gums.

And you don’t make sauce, you just beg mine, bruv,

Same flow, same slang, same lines, bruv.

No names, just facts, Im stating what’s what

If it hits too close that’s you, bruv.

So boom Friday night, ends are jumpy,

Cold in the air but the vibe’s still comfy.

I’m by the chicken shop, minding my own,

When I clock you stomping in like you’re claiming a throne.

Chest out, chin up, doing yeah yeah for show,

But you look like you spawned in late still buffering, bro.

Confidence on 1%, eyes darting round,

Like you’re searching for the nearest exit, doing laps of the ground.

And the maddest bit You move like my echo,

Same slang, same cadence, same trust me demo.

You nick my punchlines then you act like you built it,

Man’s a sheep with a megaphone loud but still scripted.

You’ve got two man with you but they’re not your team,

One’s on TikTok, one’s thinking of leaving the scene.

You’re bare loud for no reason, forcing the bantz,

Like you got a direct debit set up with being a twat.

Then you spot some girls, your voice goes polite,

Excuse me, ladies like you work front desk at night.

Do that fake laugh hehe like you’re winning,

But your breath lands first that’s the real beginning.

I’m not trying violate, I’m saying what happened,

You walked in gassed and your whole act got flattened.

Confidence loud till real life turns up,

Then it’s safe safe safe and you lock right up.

And you can’t do you, so you copy me,

Same cadence, same chat that’s robbery.

No names, no cap, I’m narrating the plot

If you’re vexed at the hook, that’s you taking the shot.

You pull out a lighter tryna look calm and patterned,

It slips, hits the floor now your ego’s shattered.

You bend down quick like I got it, I got it

Then your phone connects to the shop speaker and starts chatting.

Plays a voice note of you practicing badman bars,

In that shaky little whisper like you’re scared of your own yard.

Yeah I’m on smoke yeah say nuttin bruv, stop,

Even bossman’s face dropped and the chilli sauce clocked.

Whole pavement goes silent, then rah then laughter,

You froze like a screenshot can’t move after.

You grab your phone like you’re defusing a bomb,

But it keeps playing excuse me ladies go on then, don.

Your bredrin’s like BRO you’re mashing buttons blind,

Sweating like you’re fighting for your life in real time.

Still trying to chat like nothing happened at all,

But your confidence just got suplexed and slammed on the floor.

And don’t blame tech you copy my whole routine,

Now you’re copying my embarrassment in surround-sound on the scene.

Wheel it wheel it nah, don’t play shy,

Man came in gassed and his whole vibe died.

Ends don’t forget, we don’t let that slide,

You move too loud for a yute with no pride.

Shh don’t chat, just hold that scene,

Ego got airedout, played loud, obscene.

If the moment hits, you fold up, breathe,

I’m just telling the truth on a bouncey beat.

You double down, spin to bossman like yeah, safe,

Order like royalty, then your face turns grey.

Ah my Apple Pay’s bugging phone face down,

Praying for a miracle like you’re in lost-and-found.

Bossman’s staring like pay or put it back,

Your mates take one step like we don’t know this chap.

You go lemme call my guy like it’s organised crime,

But it’s your mum on speaker are you still out this time

Whole shop heard it even the chilli sauce paused,

And you’re hissing MUM NOT NOW like you’ve got applause.

Try step out with the food like you’re sleek,

Bossman goes OI and your soul leaves your cheek.

And you can’t even diss without stealing my angle

Without me in your head you’ve got nothing to channel.

You’re a tribute act, bruv, I should charge you a fee,

’Cause you don’t make shit unless you’re borrowing me.

Yeah I’m gone I ain’t tryna be cruel,

I’m just telling true stories you provided as fuel.

No names, no clout, just you and your luck

A walking my bad and a lifetime of bruv…

Delusions and Ls, fronting for the snap,

Hard on the net but you crumble offcap.

And you don’t make sauce unless I’m in the mix

I’m the wave you’re chasing, you’re the splash that you miss.