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Stockholm

dark experimental dark electronic depressive rap, internet-core, lo-fi industrial, minimalist beat with a dull muted beat that sometimes almost disappears, distorted synths with cold digital texture feeling of emptiness and space, background noise, light distortion, glitch artifacts, sound is breaking, detached semi-monotonous emotionless sweet choldish lolita vocal with a slight autotune formant-shift, apathetic tired intonation and tone, haunting repetitive melody, strong reverb, semi-spoken

KirKa·3:15

Lyrics

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Original and English below

↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

心拍 low 郚屋は無音

カヌテン越し 昌も倜も同音

名前も幎も ここでは䞍芁

私は代甚品 感情はborrow

鍵の音で目が芚める 毎朝

「おはよう」優しい声 䜎い枩床

ごはんは枩い 手は倧きい

撫でるたび 思考が溶けおいくみたい

「倧䞈倫」っお蚀われるたび

䞍安は垃団に瞫い蟌たれ

ここは安党 倖は怖い

そう蚀い聞かせ 今日も survive

ねえ 兄っお呌んでいい

そう呌ぶず 胞が静かになる

愛されおる たぶん本圓に

でも鎖の音が リズム刻む

兄っお呌んでいい

この家じゃ それが正解

守られおる 閉じられおる

区別できない 思考は厩壊

写真立お 䌏せられた顔

私じゃない 誰かの残像

倱った穎を 私で塞ぐ

その事実に 気づいおも塞ぐ

「䌌おるね」っお埮笑む目

その奥で 䜕を芋おるの

私は私 でも違う誰か

圹割挔じお 今日も生きおる

やめお

近づかないで

觊らないで

  でも行かないで

ひずりは無理

倖は無理

あなたがいないず

私は無理

ふざけないで 頭おかしい

優しさで包む 病的支配

「愛しおる」っお䟿利な刃

銖に圓おお 笑うサディスト

兄 違う

あんたは嘘

私を人圢にした

壊れた倧人の逃走

  っお思うのに

ドアが閉たるず

胞が痛む

䟝存は毒 でも即効

ねえ 兄っお呌んでいい

怒鳎ったあず 涙が出る

嫌いなのに 離れられない

矛盟が私を瞛っおる

兄っお呌んでいい

そうしないず 厩れそう

愛ず恐怖 同じ顔

名前を぀けるず 楜になるの

倖の䞖界 ニュヌスの音

他人事みたい モノクロトヌン

ここでは私 必芁ずされる

それだけで 呌吞できる

自由っおなに

遞択っおなに

檻の䞭でも

心は甘い

今日も蚀えない 本圓の名

鏡に映る 借り物の圱

兄っお呌ぶたび 救われお

同時に深く 沈んでく

愛しおる

憎んでる

そのどちらも 本物で

ドアは閉たる

ラップは終わる

私はただ ここにいる

ヌ ヌ ヌ ヌ ヌ ヌ

Heartbeat low — the room is silent

Through the curtains, day and night sound the same

Names and age don’t matter here

I’m a substitute — my feelings are borrowed

The sound of keys wakes me every morning

“Good morning,” a gentle voice, low and cold

The food is warm, the hands are big

Every time you stroke me, my thoughts seem to melt

Every time you say “It’s okay,”

My anxiety gets stitched into the blanket

This place is safe, outside is scary

I tell myself that, and survive another day

Hey
 can I call you “big brother”?

When I say it, my chest goes quiet

I’m loved — probably, really

But the sound of chains keeps the rhythm

Can I call you “big brother”?

In this house, that’s the right answer

Am I protected — or locked away?

I can’t tell anymore, my thoughts collapse

A photo frame, a face turned down

Not me — someone else’s afterimage

You fill the hole you lost with me

Even when I notice, I still block it

“You look just like her,” you say, smiling

What are you really looking at behind those eyes?

I am me — but also someone else

Playing a role, living another day

Stop

Don’t come closer

Don’t touch me


But don’t leave

Being alone is impossible

The outside world is impossible

Without you,

I’m impossible

Don’t joke — this is messed up

Pathological control wrapped in kindness

“I love you” — such a convenient blade

Pressed to my neck, smiling sadist

Brother? No.

You’re a lie.

You turned me into a doll,

An adult’s broken escape


And yet

When the door closes,

My chest hurts

Dependence is poison — but it works fast

Hey
 can I call you “big brother”?

After you yell, the tears come

I hate you, but I can’t leave

The contradiction binds me

Can I call you “big brother”?

If I don’t, I feel like I’ll fall apart

Love and fear wear the same face

Giving it a name makes it easier

The outside world — news noise

Feels unreal, monochrome

Here, I’m needed

That alone lets me breathe

What is freedom?

What is choice?

Even inside a cage,

The heart tastes sweet

I still can’t say my real name

The mirror shows a borrowed shadow

Every time I call you “brother,” I’m saved

And at the same time, I sink deeper

I love you

I hate you

Both of them are real

The door closes

The rap ends

And I’m still here

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