She's stuck beneath the kitchen sink again

In yoga pants that really shouldn't bend

"Oh stepbro, can you help me get unstuck?"

She wiggles and she sighs, "I'm out of luck!"

The washing machine has claimed another prize

Her tank top's way too small for her disguise

I scratch my head and wonder what's the deal

This Tuesday afternoon don't feel too real

What is happening in this place?

Why does life work out this way?

Why's she dressed in clothes so strange?

Nothing here will ever change

My sanity is tattered and completely worn

Wait, am I playing in ... ? (oh oh)

Now stepmom's trapped inside the dryer door

Her workout gear leaves little to explore

"Sweet stepson, I need help, I can't get free!"

She's twisted like a human pretzel, see?

The couch has swallowed half of her today

In shorts that barely cover anyway

I blink twice hard and rub my weary eyes

These situations multiply like flies

What is happening in this place?

Why does life work out this way?

Why's she dressed in clothes so strange?

Nothing here will ever change

My sanity is tattered and completely worn

Wait, am I playing in ... ? (ohh)

She's wedged between the bed and bedroom wall

In pajamas that are three sizes too small

"I dropped my phone, now I can't escape!"

Her predicament's of quite a curious shape

The coffee table's got her in a bind

Her mini skirt has really crossed the line

I wonder if our house is cursed somehow

These daily rescues started just last month

What is happening in this place?

Why does life work out this way?

Why's she dressed in clothes so strange?

Nothing here will ever change

My sanity is tattered and completely worn

Wait, am I playing in ... ? (oh!)

Is this my life now?

Every single day?

Do they plan these outfits?

What am I supposed to say?

I'm thinking 'bout moving far away

To somewhere normal people spend their day

Where sisters don't get stuck in washing machines

And stepmoms don't wear such revealing jeans

(c)