cuz, your boy bust a doo-doo at thanksgiving dinner

right in front of wendy, my cousin, she such a winner

yeah, the girl so bad, the baddest i ever seen

and i couldn't play it off because of all the baked beans

not to mention the cranberry sauce, the cranberry tarts

the green beans and brussels sprouts, they both make me fart

my cousin wendy is smart, she went to ivy league

i'm embarrassed to be at the table after my deed

'cause she my type, and i mean the only type i like

'cause she my cousin, i only got one type

it's only one, i ain't one of them weirdos with multiple cousins

i mean, i do, but they distant cousins, it ain't nothin'

but my cousin wendy, she closer than siblings, almost closer than twins

but i digress, the food i had to digest

'cause my mother cooked it, couldn't disrespect my mom

if i had any clue, i woulda brung my own tums

came out my own bums, multiple cheeks

the gas is comin' fast, i had to clench the butt cheeks

i'm tryna make a speech, like, "you wanna get outta here?

go to the basement, there's some good wi-fi down there

we could stream a movie, yeah, just us two, me and you"

but it's too late, i done already dropped a deuce

and my bowels is loose, i didn't want to let her know

that the gas had me squealin', i ain't talkin' arco

but i just had to go, she was in shock

she didn't know whether to look or smell the spot

and i already knew she was about to tell the family

i said, "go ahead, girl, just like some jammy, don't jam me"

so i stood up, the whole family lookin'

and they askin' why my face is cooked and why my face is shooken

and i told 'em i had to take a walk and talk to my dog

but they could smell the smell that was comin' from under my drawers

the first time that i was lost for words

at the dinner table, they thought i was speakin' in tongues

but

you're my cousin and my best friend, wendy

ever since we were little kids, wendy

i got a little bit older and then we

became best friends and best friends only

and i mean that, wendy

i got a girlfriend and i like her, wendy

i like you, but not like that, wendy

and i wouldn't want it to be weird, wendy

when i'm rappin' on the track

with a beat like this and i'm rappin' so fast

i don't want you to feel like i'm gettin' off track

when i start off the verse by saying something like that

but i guess i'm already off track

when i started off the verse, i was gonna say something

then i got a little nervous

and i started off by sayin' somethin' weird like that

'cause what i meant to say was that it's thanksgiving

and i'm sittin' with my best friend wendy

she sittin' at the other end of the table

but i hope that she hear me when i tell her i love her

and that she's my best friend, best friend wendy

i just hope it ain't weird, best friend wendy

and i love you, not like that, best friend wendy

you're my best friend wendy, wendy

and i think that's my cousin, wendy

and i'm eatin' thanksgiving dinner, wendy

and i'm at the table with my cousin, wendy

and i'm sittin' here at the table with my cousin, wendy

i'm at the table with my cousin, wendy

and i'm eatin' thanksgiving dinner, wendy

and i'm at the table with my cousin, wendy

and i'm sittin' here at the table with my cousin, wendy

i think i just shit my pants