You know what happens when you assume?

You know what happens when you assume?

You make an ass out of Yumi

And what did Yumi ever do to you?

She was just mindin’ her business, truly

You know what happens when you assume?

You make an ass out of Yumi

So stop actin’ like you knew the truth—

Leave Yumi out of your issues

You saw one look, wrote the whole damn script

Turned one little glitch into “that’s just how she is”

Heard half a sentence, filled in the rest

Built a whole case with no evidence

Now you’re talkin’ like you got receipts

But it’s vibes and guesses and jealousy

Meanwhile Yumi’s over there like: “me?”

Why my name in your therapy?

You don’t know her, you don’t know me

You don’t know what you think you see

If you need a villain, pick your own

Don’t drag a random into your tone

You know what happens when you assume?

You make an ass out of Yumi

And what did Yumi ever do to you?

She was just mindin’ her business, truly

You know what happens when you assume?

You make an ass out of Yumi

So stop actin’ like you knew the truth—

Leave Yumi out of your issues

You read my silence like a confession

Read my smile like aggression

Read “later” like rejection

Damn, that’s an impressive projection

You turned “maybe” into “never”

Turned “busy” into “whatever”

And every time you jump to doom

Yumi takes the shrapnel with you

Let me translate this ancient proverb:

When you ASS-UME, you don’t become wise—

you become loud.

And for some reason, it’s always Yumi’s fault.

Free Yumi.

You know what happens when you assume?

You make an ass out of Yumi

And what did Yumi ever do to you?

Nothing. That’s what makes it goofy.

You know what happens when you assume?

You make an ass out of Yumi

So if you need somebody to accuse—

Use your own name. Leave Yumi out of it.

You know what happens when you assume.