The Paycheck Eater

(Bright acoustic guitar intro, handclaps, banjo pops, modern country-pop beat kicks in. Big, catchy, upbeat energy.)

Verse 1

She’s sittin’ in the driveway lookin’ mean

More rust than paint, if you know what I mean

Dashboard lights like a Christmas tree

But none of ‘em say “run smooth for free”

I bought her cheap, thought I got a steal

Turns out I signed a heartbreak deal

Every Friday when the paycheck lands

She’s already got it in her hands

Pre-Chorus

One tow truck, two repairs

Three mechanics saying “ain’t no prayer”

And I swear I hear her laugh at me

Chorus (Big, catchy hook)

She’s the Paycheck Eater, money heater

Loves to break down on the side of the street

Gas tank empty, bank account too

But I can’t quit her, what can I do?

She’s a rusted-out dream on borrowed time

Still I keep her running down the line

Yeah, she’s trouble wrapped in chrome and steel

But she’s got a hold on the way I feel

Paycheck Eater… take it all again

Verse 2

She leaks more oil than a heartbreak song

Radio works but it’s always wrong

AC blows like a Southern breeze

In January snow at minus three

My friends all say “man, let her go”

But she’s got that “maybe she’ll start” glow

And just when I think I’m finally free

She coughs back to life and looks at me

Pre-Chorus

One more fix and I’ll be fine

That’s what I say every single time

But she’s got a way of changing plans

Chorus (Even bigger, clap-driven)

She’s the Paycheck Eater, money heater

Loves to break down on the side of the street

Gas tank empty, bank account too

But I can’t quit her, what can I do?

She’s a rusted-out dream on borrowed time

Still I keep her running down the line

Yeah, she’s trouble wrapped in chrome and steel

But she’s got a hold on the way I feel

Paycheck Eater… yeah, I’m still believin’

Bridge (Party breakdown, call-and-response)

(Spoken/sung)

Mechanic said: “Son, she’s done for sure!”

I said: “Doc, I’ve heard that before!”

She’s got dents, she’s got scars

But she still gets me where my bars are

Final Chorus (Big festival energy, stomp/clap, crowd vocals)

She’s the Paycheck Eater, money heater

Breaking down but she’s still my ride

A little bit chaos, a little bit grace

With a busted old grin on her rusty face

She’s a rusted-out dream on borrowed time

But she’s mine, oh she’s mine all mine

Yeah, she’s trouble wrapped in chrome and steel

But she’s got a hold on the way I feel

Paycheck Eater… and I love the deal

Outro (Fading, playful ad-libs)

(Laughing vocals, engine sputter SFX, harmonica lick)

“See you next paycheck…”

clunk…

“…probably.”