[Intro]
[SFX: Cicada buzzing, then a record scratch]
(Breathy, exasperated) Is the sun for real today?
Man, check the temperature…

[Verse 1]
Woke up to a cicada symphony
A seven AM roast, just punishing me
By nine, the mercury’s a criminal climb
Thirty-five degrees Celcius, is that even legal this time?
(Good grief!)

[Pre-Chorus]
Not a single cloud in the endless blue!
This heat feels like a barbecue…
(Spoken) AC’s on full blast, a losing fight
Against that angry solar light.

[Chorus]
Feel that sun sting, a dry attack!
Forty five degrees and no shade at my back!
This ain't steam, it's a radiant bake!
(My poor skin's starting to flake and ache!)
This furnace heat, it's got no peace!
Frying in the summer grease!

[Verse 2]
The pavement’s soft, it’s frying up my feet
My ice cream’s soup before it’s a sweet treat
The fan just blows the hot air back and forth
(Seriously, what’s it even worth?)
Sun’s a laser, absolute tyrant.

[Pre-Chorus]
Not a single cloud in the endless blue!
This heat feels like a barbecue…
(Whew!)
Dreaming of a Hokkaido snow vacation
In this nationwide perspiration.

[Chorus]
Feel that sun sting, a dry attack!
Forty five degrees and no shade at my back!
This ain't steam, it's a radiant bake!
(My poor skin's starting to flake and ache!)
This furnace heat, it's got no peace!
Frying in the summer grease!

[Bridge]
(Rock Ballad style, slower, dramatic)
Is this… global warming’s punchline?
Or am I stuck on the sun’s front line?
[SFX: Sizzle]
(Breathy whisper) Just one cloud… I’m begging you…
(Please?)

[Chorus]
Feel that sun sting, a dry ATTACK!
Forty five degrees and NO SHADE at my back!
(Group Shout) This ain't steam, it's a RADIANT BAKE!
MY POOR SKIN'S STARTING TO FLAKE AND ACHE!
(All out, chaotic) This furnace heat, it's got no peace!
Frying in the summer… (GREASE!)

[Outro]
[SFX: AC unit whirring weakly, then a final vinyl scratch]
(Spoken, defeated) I’m just gonna live in the fridge.
[SFX: Door slam, cicadas fade]