One morning I awoke in bed

To a postman with a special delivery

"Will you sign for this?" he said

It's a letter with no return address

But as I opened it

It said

"You don't know me

But I'm Madonna"

I dropped my pen

"What?"

Said "Tomorrow

Come to my apartment

Let's hang out and eat some cold pizza

And don't tell anyone about this"

I wrote

"Whoever you are

This is hilarious

See you at noon

Have some good times"

So I went to Madonna's apartment

Or at least

I think it was Madonna

I'm not sure if it was Madonna

But I know we ate cold pizza

The next morning I awoke in bed

With a cat sleeping on my face

"Where did you come from?" I said

I don't own a cat

So I called my mom

Said

"I have a cat now

What should I name her?"

She said

"How 'bout Madonna?"

I said

"No

Mom

That's a stupid name"

She said

"I know you think it's stupid

But I was thinking about Madonna

Remember

I told you about that one time

I saw Madonna eating cold pizza?"

And I said

"That never happened

Mom"

And she said

"I swear it did"

And I said

"Wait a minute

Maybe that did happen"

And she said

"I swear it did"

So I went to Madonna's apartment

Or at least

I think it was Madonna

I'm not sure if it was Madonna

But I know we ate cold pizza

Madonna

Cold pizza

Madonna

Cold pizza

Madonna

Cold pizza

Madonna

Cold pizza

Madonna

Cold pizza

Madonna

Cold pizza