(Spoken, with a chuckle)

Y'all ever tried a bear squat down at Bass Pro?

Hold my beer... let's go!

Walking through the aisles, smell of fishing line and pine,

Truckers in camo, dreaming of that big ol' whitetail sign.

Saw a grizzly mount staring down with glassy eyes so mean,

Thought, "What if I squat like him? Show 'em what I mean."

Legs wide, back low, grunting like a beast unleashed,

Folks stopping short, mouths open, wondering bout the feast.

I'm the king of the wild, right there by the tackle rack,

Bear Squat, ain't no turning back!

Bear Squat! Down in Bass Pro, feel the burn, feel the roar!

Hibernating heavy, but I'm craving more and more!

From the boat showroom to the gun safe glow,

I'm squatting like a bruin, stealing the show!

Oh, Bear Squat, yeah! Make 'em laugh, make 'em stare,

In this outdoor cathedral, I'm the grizzly with flair!

Bear Squat! Hold it, brothers, don't you drop!

Lady with her cart full of lures gives a double-take,

Kid points and yells, "Mom, that man's a big ol' fake!"

Security's scratching his head, walkie-talkie crackling low,

"Is that a prank or a pose? Better let the manager know."

Sweat dripping like dew on a dawn patrol tent,

I'm deeper in the stance, time and gravity bent.

Who needs a gym when you've got taxidermy walls?

Bear Squat symphony, hear the shoppers' calls!

Bear Squat! Down in Bass Pro, feel the burn, feel the roar!

Hibernating heavy, but I'm craving more and more!

From the boat showroom to the gun safe glow,

I'm squatting like a bruin, stealing the show!

Oh, Bear Squat, yeah! Make 'em laugh, make 'em stare,

In this outdoor cathedral, I'm the grizzly with flair!

Bear Squat! Hold it, brothers—don't you drop!

(Slow build, with a deep growl)

One... two... thighs on fire, spirit wild and free,

Channeling the ursine soul, that's the key to me.

Rise up slow, crowd claps, legend in the makin',

Bass Pro's got nothin' on this heart that's breaking

Bear Squat! (Echo: Squat!) Down in Bass Pro, own the floor!

Bear Squat! (Echo: Roar!) Gimme one more, gimme four!

From the flannel racks to the endless night,

I'm the Bear Squat king, yeah, that's alright!

(Fade with laughter and a final grunt)

Bear... Squat... Out!