(Breath in. Breath out.)

Kept my head down, played the part

Fit the frame, learned the art

Smiled when they said my name

Like it never felt strange

(But it did. Always did.)

Pulled my sleeves down, walked the line

Took the shape they said was mine

I let them paint me in their colors

But they never got it right

(Never felt right.)

Not running, not hiding

Not shrinking, not quiet

I don’t owe you an arrival

I’ve been here this whole time

(Look closer. I was always here.)

They liked me better when I was ghosting

When I kept my voice down low

When I made it easy, made it pretty

Didn’t let the truth show

(But I know, yeah, I know—)

I don’t need your permission

I don’t need to explain

If you’re looking for the old me

She ain't coming back again

I been playin’ dead just to make ‘em comfortable,

playin’ safe, playin’ small, playin’ someone that I hate

watchin’ my own name roll off their tongues like they own it

like I should be grateful they say it at all -

but they don’t know it, don’t feel it, don’t hear it the way that I do

in my own head, in my own skin,

where I been screamin’ it ‘til my throat gave in

but no one listens when you whisper,

so I started talkin’ louder,

and now they look at me like I changed -

like I switched up overnight,

like I woke up brand new when I just finally stopped tryna be what they like.

I spent years tryna mold my voice into somethin’ they’d let exist

folded myself so many times I forgot what shape I was,

forgot the weight of my own breath when it wasn’t bein’ measured,

forgot how to take up space without apologizin’ for it first,

but I remember now.

And I ain’t runnin’.

Ain’t leavin’.

Ain’t explainin’ it again.

If you didn’t hear me the first time,

you weren’t listenin’.

Not running, not hiding

Not shrinking, not quiet

I don’t owe you an arrival

I’ve been here this whole time

(Look closer. I was always here.)

(I was always here.)