I try to focus,

but my thoughts fall apart.

기억은 조각처럼 흩어져

잡으려 하면 손 사이로 빠져

Yesterday feels unreal,

like a dream I never finished

눈을 뜨고 있어도 멀어져

지금 이 순간이 흐릿해

People say “try harder”

but they don’t see the fear

머릿속은 늘 비상사태

No silence, no rest

집중하지 못한 게 아니라

I’m just trying to survive

My attention is breaking, piece by piece

기억은 칼날처럼 잘려

It’s not that I’m weak or slow

오래 눌려온 마음의 반사일 뿐

작은 실수도 위험처럼

몸이 먼저 움츠러들어

Every sound feels like a warning

Every look feels like a test

생각은 멈추지 않는데

아무것도 잡히지 않아

My brain chose defense

when there was no place to rest

계속 괜찮은 척해왔지

But my nerves learned fear

망가진 게 아니라

I adapted to pain

My attention is breaking, piece by piece

기억은 먼지처럼 흩어져

It’s not that I lost my mind

살아남기 위한 자동 반응일 뿐

If safety was never given

어떻게 집중할 수 있었을까

The brain remembers threat

before it remembers dreams

My attention is breaking, yes it’s true

하지만 그건 죄가 아냐

I wasn’t born unfocused

I was trained to be afraid

One day, in a safer place

조각난 기억이 다시 이어질 때

Maybe then,

I’ll finally be able to think in peace.

■ Chinese Lyrics

〈破碎的專注〉

我試著集中注意力，

但思緒一塊一塊地崩解。

記憶像碎片般四散

一想抓住，就從指縫流走

昨天顯得那麼不真實，

像一個沒能做完的夢

明明睜著眼，卻越來越遠

此刻也變得模糊不清

人們說著「再努力一點」

但他們看不見那份恐懼

腦中永遠是緊急狀態

沒有寂靜，也沒有休息

不是我無法專注，

我只是努力活下來

我的專注正在破裂，一片一片

記憶像刀刃般被切開

不是我軟弱，也不是我遲鈍

只是被長久壓抑的心的反射動作

連小小的失誤都像危機

身體比理智先縮了起來

每一道聲音都像警報

每一道目光都像考驗

思緒從未停止轉動

卻什麼也抓不住

我的大腦選擇了防禦

因為從來沒有能安心的地方

我一直假裝自己沒事

但神經早已學會恐懼

我不是壞掉了，

我只是為了疼痛而適應

我的專注正在破裂，一片一片

記憶像塵埃般四散

不是我失去了理智

只是為了活下來的自動反應

如果從未被給予安全

又怎麼可能學會專注

大腦記住的先是威脅

才輪得到夢想

我的專注正在破碎，這是真的

但那並不是罪

我不是天生無法專心

我是被訓練去害怕的

也許有一天，在更安全的地方

當破碎的記憶重新接合

也許那時，

我終於能安靜地思考了。