You say you want me

Say it again slow

You like the way I shine

the way I hold a room

the polished kind of pretty

that can make a dark thing bloom

You like the mouth, the mind

the body in the frame

the way I make it look like fire

without ever naming flame

But you don’t know the nights

that taught me how to brace

don’t know how many loving hands

have turned against my face

And you don’t know the cost

of looking strong this long

how much of what you call composed

was built from going wrong

So if you say you want me

want the dark behind the gold

want the woman with the dagger

not just the girl you want to hold

Do you want the whole of me

or just the parts that glow?

Do you want the woman I became

or just the skin I show?

Do you want the sleepless nights

the trust that don’t come cheap?

Do you want the walls, the watchful eyes

the body that won’t sleep?

’Cause I am not a pretty thing

untouched by what I’ve seen

So say you want me if you want me

but tell me what you mean

You don’t know stillness scares me

or why I stay in motion

how if I stop too long

I start to drown inside the open

You don’t know the gym ain’t vanity

some days it’s just escape

a woman trying to outrun

the shape her own mind makes

You don’t know therapy

can name a wound, not make it small

or how perfection grows

when you don’t feel deserving at all

And love does not come easy here

trust is not a game

you do not get the softest parts

just because you say my name

So if you say you want me

want the climb, not just the view

want the history in my body

and the work it took to get me through

Do you want the whole of me

or just the parts that glow?

Do you want the woman I became

or just the skin I show?

Do you want the sleepless nights

the trust that don’t come cheap?

Do you want the walls, the watchful eyes

the body that won’t sleep?

’Cause I am not a pretty thing

untouched by what I’ve seen

So say you want me if you want me

but tell me what you mean

Maybe that’s the cruelest part

I can’t believe it true

that anybody looking clearly

would choose me, knowing through.

Knowing I come armored

knowing I come scarred

knowing when I’m overwhelmed

I work until it’s hard

Maybe people want the picture

not the weight beneath the frame

maybe they like wanting women

more than loving what they name

Do you want the whole of me

or just the parts that glow?

Do you want the woman I became

or just the skin I show?

Do you want the sleepless nights

the trust that don’t come cheap?

Do you want the walls, the watchful eyes

the body that won’t sleep?

’Cause I am not a pretty thing

untouched by what I’ve seen

So say you want me if you want me

but tell me what you mean

Tell me what you mean.