Got the news today, oh boy

And it don’t sound very good

Got more sugar in my blood

Than any human being should

Doc says he’s not sure

How I’m even still alive

I broke the scale when he weighed me

He estimates four eighty five

Got a script to manage my weight

Doc said fill it quick, do not hesitate

I forgot to mention

In addition to being real fat

I’m a little dyslexic

I don’t tell many people about that

But I should have got some help

Before I bought that ticket for Africa

I thought it was a little strange

That doctor would send me away, so far

Now I’m strapped to a climbing rope

Being anchored by an old mountain goat

Hanging from my chunky fingers

Will I see the sun tomorrow

How does this cure my Diabetes

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro

Almost 20 thousand feet

To the top of that giant rock

As I eat this case of Snickers

I wonder how I’m gonna make it up

If I climb up all the way

Will this roll of fat burn off my neck

I guess that’s what the prescription says

Again, I should have had someone double check

The wind is strong, changing our climbing plans

I get ready, lick the Cheeto dust off my hands

Rocks rubbing on my chunky thighs

The climb leader I try to follow

How does this cure my Diabetes

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro

Huffing and wheezing

The air is getting thin

If I get back home to Georgia

Gonna re-read that script again

Arms so tired, calcifying lard

My last milkshake I just swallowed

How does this cure my Diabetes?

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro

Are you really sure

(really, really sure)

I should be climbing a mountain

(I’m the size of a mountain)

What did that prescription say

(what, what did it say)

My heart it is a poundin

(dangerously poundin)

Monjaro, Oh…that’s my bad

I didn’t need to climb this mountain.