Hey there you, welcome to Wisconsin!
It is a place of wonder! Cheese! Snow! And sin?

Well, the roads are frozen, the beer is flowin’
There's a guy in shorts and it's twenty below, man!
Cows are sacred, cheese curds are holy
Friday night fish fry’s mandatory!

Oh, you better learn how to drive in a blizzard,
Or you’ll be turned to roadkill by some guy named Lizard.
(Yeah, he’s real. Don’t ask.)

Ohhhhhh Wisconsin, what a sight!
A dairy-fueled, beer-soaked delight!
Come on in friendo, grab yourself a brew,
But if you don’t like cheese, we’re comin’ for you!
We got icy roads, we got snow,
And some guy without a shirt yellin’ "Let’s go!"
(Bro, it is negative twenty, you are about to [bleep]ing die!)

Oh, the folks are friendly, ‘til they’re not,
Step on our lawn and you just got shot (just kidding... kinda).
Lost in the woods? Eh, you’ll be fine,
Just follow the smell of deep-fried swine!

And when the summer comes...
Oh, wait, it’s already gone...
We had one nice day—
But now it’s snowing again?!

Ohhhhhh Wisconsin, what a sight!
A dairy-fueled, snow covered fright!
Get out of here bucko, abandon all hope ye who enter here!
All that we have is cheese, snow, more cheese, and beer!
Midwest? More like the middle of Hell!
This place is driving me insane, can't you tell?!

So, ya gonna stick around, or are ya headin’ to Minnesota?
...Yeah, that’s what I thought.