Verse 1:

It's that time of year, oh joy, oh bliss

When we drag nature indoors, what madness is this?

Needles on the carpet, sap on my hands

Who's bright idea was this tree? I don't understand!

Chorus:

Oh, who's idea was it to bring a freaking tree inside?

A forest in my living room, where am I supposed to hide?

It drops its leaves, it's taking space

There's tinsel in my favorite vase

Who thought this evergreen invasion was so wise?

Verse 2:

I'm wrestling with branches, tangled in lights

The star won't stay straight, no matter how I fight

The cat's going crazy, climbing up high

Who's bright idea was this tree? I'm about to cry!

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:

Trees belong outside, in the wild and free

Not suffocating in my house, torturing poor old me!

Verse 3:

Now there's water to change, and ornaments that break

My back is aching, for goodness sake!

Next year we'll get a fake one, mark my words

Who's bright idea was this tree? It's for the birds!

Outro:

Who's idea was it to bring a freaking tree inside?

Next year, we're celebrating... in July!